I think I hate art school

[CuteHomunculus]

Lately, my feelings and experience at art school feel way too similar to when I was staying at the psychward. It just made me realize that nothing in my life has changed. It's a perpetual cycle of hitting rock bottom, getting out of it, and then reaching an all-time high, only to fall back downwards again. So far, I feel like I haven't been learning anything new at art school (i've been going for 2 years now). I'm so worried all this time and excessive amounts of money spent on art school will lead to nothing. Maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit, but if I want to get a job/career out of my art, it has to be good enough for payment and attention from employers. Also it's generally expected that the work you make for school assignments can be applied for your portfolio. The thing is, all the work I made in school so far is absolutely garbage and I've thrown nearly everything out. I feel like my art degraded from when I was 16-17, before I attended art school. It makes me feel so horrible.

Also, I can't stand my roommates. They have completly different living styles than me. They rarely clean up after themselves, so it's usually just me doing all the cleaning and chores around the dorm. Moldly food, piss and shit in the toilet, horrible smells, I've seen and smelt it numerous times here. I've brought it up to them before, they say they'll take care of their own things but never follow up on their promises. I can understand if they're busy with work, but I literally hear them playing video games and having friends over all the damn time. They're super fucking loud too. I can never take naps or get normal hours of sleep because I'd be woken up by loud music or yelling. Nearly everyday I have to tell them to quiet down, but it just happens again the next day. I've sent complaints about them before to the school staff, but nothing ever comes of them. I WISH so badly to move out, but there's no avaliable rooms for me. I have constant headaches too from the near daily construction and nonstop mechanical noises that ring all day and night. FUCK.

I have been self studying recently using online resources and books by professionals, and they're super helpful! I hate to admit that all the free and pirated things I find online are more helpful for me than art school... But the more I self study the more I fall behind on my school assignments, and my grades start to drop. At this point I feel like I'm only staying here for the diploma to prove that I can kind of draw. Which is just so fucking stupid. I want to dropout but I'm so scared of getting no jobs/careers without a colledge diploma. And my parents would be beyond pissed at me too. I feel like I can't fit in with many people here either. I eventually fall out of touch with previous friends because we don't share classes anymore. I can't really meet any new people or find connections because I'm so busy studying or cleaning. I just don't know what to do anymore at this point. Hopefully next year will be better, as for now I'm just taking it day by day.

 

[takuyangel]

i'm sorry love i hope your week gets better, atleast you're hanging in there lol college made me so unmotivated that i dropped out >,< and hopefully your next roommates are cool. virtual hugzzz

 

[IWillSurvive]

Yeah... uni can surprisingly make you worse at what you were studying than before you went there. Its not the same, but I also feel like my programming and game dev abilities have gone down during my CS degree... the obsession behind getting better sometimes backfires and makes you burn out and get worse.

Its not great, but a diploma is quite helpful when trying to find a job, so the best would be to just push through it and try to actually get good (or as good as we want to be) after we get the diploma. It sounds conterproductive (and it sometimes is...) but its seems like there is no better choice.

Luckily this stage of life is relatively short (2-6 years at most) so you will have time afterwards to actually get good... or at least thats what I tell myself to keep moving XD.

Sorry for the rant. I hope you can get through it, or that at least you end up happy with whatever you choose.

Good luck

 

[Uncounted1846]

push through it and try to actually get good (or as good as we want to be) after we get the diploma. It sounds conterproductive (and it sometimes is...) but its seems like there is no better choice.

I relate to this a lot, and I hope you find the strength to make the decision that's best for you.


When I was 21 in my third year of college, I didn't have much support and no clear vision for the future. I ended up falling into drugs and alcohol and eventually dropped out, just three semesters short of finishing my journalism degree.


My credits have since expired, but the student loans are still there. It's been a tough lesson, and finding stable work has been harder than I expected. Looking back, I wish I had thought more about what my future self might need.


Everyone's situation is different, of course. What's making you consider dropping out right now?

 

[IWillSurvive]

I am here to confirm this sentiment wholeheartedly. please find your strength.
When I was 21, in my third year of college, I had no support and no vision for the future. I fell into drugs and alcohol and ended up dropping out. Three semesters shy of my BA in Journalism.

All of my credits have since expired, but I still have the student loans to remind me of my spectacular failure. And trying to find entry level work has become harder and harder. I've been unemployed since July. My unemployment runs out next week. I have one interview. Please consider your future self before making such an impactful decision.

Good luck on the interview!

 

[CuteHomunculus]

i'm sorry love i hope your week gets better, atleast you're hanging in there lol college made me so unmotivated that i dropped out >,< and hopefully your next roommates are cool. virtual hugzzz

Thank you for your reply! I appreciate it sm! I'm sorry to hear about your previous college experience :c I hope you're doing well now!

Yeah... uni can surprisingly make you worse at what you were studying than before you went there. Its not the same, but I also feel like my programming and game dev abilities have gone down during my CS degree... the obsession behind getting better sometimes backfires and makes you burn out and get worse.

Its not great, but a diploma is quite helpful when trying to find a job, so the best would be to just push through it and try to actually get good (or as good as we want to be) after we get the diploma. It sounds conterproductive (and it sometimes is...) but its seems like there is no better choice.

Luckily this stage of life is relatively short (2-6 years at most) so you will have time afterwards to actually get good... or at least thats what I tell myself to keep moving XD.

Sorry for the rant. I hope you can get through it, or that at least you end up happy with whatever you choose.

Good luck

Thank you so much! It's really reassuring to hear that. It's a bit unfortunate that you don't get enough time to really hone in on your projects or craft, which is why sometimes it can seem like you're getting worse. I'm glad to hear that about the diploma and I hope that you're able to keep moving forward with what you're passionate with! Also no need to apologize, I was ranting a lot too. College and jobs can be so frustrating and confusing, but hopefully everything will work out in the end. Good luck to you as well! I appreciate your kind reply ^_^

I am here to confirm this sentiment wholeheartedly. please find your strength.
When I was 21, in my third year of college, I had no support and no vision for the future. I fell into drugs and alcohol and ended up dropping out. Three semesters shy of my BA in Journalism.

All of my credits have since expired, but I still have the student loans to remind me of my spectacular failure. And trying to find entry level work has become harder and harder. I've been unemployed since July. My unemployment runs out next week. I have one interview. Please consider your future self before making such an impactful decision.

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. But don't be hard on yourself either, you're making an effort and pushing through. That's something to be proud of, and I'm sure all of your hard work in finding a job will eventually pay off. I'm wishing the best for you and I hope that your interview goes well! I'll take your message into deep consideration. Thank you so much for your reply!

 

[Uncounted1846]

Thank you for your reply! I appreciate it sm! I'm sorry to hear about your previous college experience :c I hope you're doing well now!

Thank you so much! It's really reassuring to hear that. It's a bit unfortunate that you don't get enough time to really hone in on your projects or craft, which is why sometimes it can seem like you're getting worse. I'm glad to hear that about the diploma and I hope that you're able to keep moving forward with what you're passionate with! Also no need to apologize, I was ranting a lot too. College and jobs can be so frustrating and confusing, but hopefully everything will work out in the end. Good luck to you as well! I appreciate your kind reply ^_^

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. But don't be hard on yourself either, you're making an effort and pushing through. That's something to be proud of, and I'm sure all of your hard work in finding a job will eventually pay off. I'm wishing the best for you and I hope that your interview goes well! I'll take your message into deep consideration. Thank you so much for your reply!

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