I think I failed my friends

[TheDizzenter]

I am going to be honest. I've saw many friends of mine who are young talking about suicide, but they were just desperate and upset by something. I always tried to help them with their vents and all. But now I feel I can't stand myself, I can't help them. I've been avoiding them, trying to start again. I hate how I isolate myself this way, but I don't want them to know I am willing to take my life. What I do? I hate myself because of this. How can I change this way and feel at least the will to talk again?

 

[m3i906]

What is commendable is that you've recognised it and want to make things better. Friendships change and drift over time and I'm sure your friends will wait until you're ready, even if it's been a while. I was in the same position. Eventually I realised that simply telling them, "I'm sorry for being absent recently; I just need some time" helped quite a bit. Then when you're ready, you can reach out. Also it might take some time until you're ready and that's fine, okay?
They will understand and I'm cheering you on from the sidelines:)