I think at this point I'll have to accept that I'll never kill myself because of how strong my survival instinct is

[WhenTheyCry]

i just keep failing, over and over again

 

[Cryptonite]

These kinds of posts always terrify me. I can never give up, I can never say SI will win. Never. CTB is the only escape from this hell.

 

[NHLTradeRumor]

I have been the same way, I always tell myself that my SI won't stop me, but they do anyway. I know that eventually I'll beat my SI, but who the hell knows how long that'll take.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly as though the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this horrific world. But I do understand that it's so dreadful when you really wish to ctb yet you struggle to do so. I've never attempted because of the fear of failure, and just having limited access to methods in general, but I know that if I had the option of a peaceful and reliable method I would be long gone from this world. It really sounds so horrible to me failing ctb and just ending up back here.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

Eventually the pain of living will eclipse everything else if life doesn't somehow improve first.

 

[WhenTheyCry]

Eventually the pain of living will eclipse everything else if life doesn't somehow improve first.

Life might get better, the technological singularity might bring us into a utopia

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm the same - strong SI- but my constitution has been weak and keeps weakening - I'm 56 but have energy of an 80 year old … feels like some illness will grow within me …