Venting I feel like I'll never be happy with myself

[Drowningindespair]

I have to live with the guilt because I'm a horrible person. I deserve this pain i get and as much as I want to die, I will deny myself the peace of dying early. I will live this life as my own punishment. I really am pathetic and I will never allow myself to be happy with these thoughts and memories. I hate myself for who i am and I can't change because I think I deserve to suffer. I want to get better but at the same time I want to get worse.

 

[badatparties]

It's not you, it's your flawed human meat suit. You upbringing and genetics made most of the choices for you. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

 

[Jun123]

I don't know you or what you did to think you deserve this, but I have to disagree with you. Self punishment should not be the answer and you seem to be genuitly sorry, so instead of punishing yourself by getting worse, I think you should try to forgive yourself, even though I know how hard that can be.