I suffer from Major Depression and i will kill myself this night.

[Annabella]

This is the day. There is no point in living with this fucking illness anymore. I am extremely emotionally numb(i lost my capability to feel emotions completely). I lost my ability to feel pleasure, my drive to work and do anything at all. I lost my will to live completely, i am a person that wants to live but can't. I hate everyone and i especially hate the medical industry, this entire disgusting society ruled by the most wicked people that have ever existed. This is a world ruled by real monsters. Fuck those monsters that ruined mu life before i could even live it. Fuck

 

[watchingthewheels]

 

[Lady black]

I hope it works for you and that you will find eternal peace

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Relatable

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm so sorry to hear you're leaving.
Just don't do anything in a rush. A proper plan is the best way out.

Wish you the best and hope you can find peace!

 

[Shadowrider]

This is the day. There is no point in living with this fucking illness anymore. I am extremely emotionally numb(i lost my capability to feel emotions completely). I lost my ability to feel pleasure, my drive to work and do anything at all. I lost my will to live completely, i am a person that wants to live but can't. I hate everyone and i especially hate the medical industry, this entire disgusting society ruled by the most wicked people that have ever existed. This is a world ruled by real monsters. Fuck those monsters that ruined mu life before i could even live it. Fuck

It's very sad to hear that you have given it up!

Yes it's true, the ugliest and most wicked people succeed in this world... this makes me very sad, too :( "Keep the world with all its sin - it' not fit for living in!"

Please, reconsider everything if you really think you are a person who wants to live but cannot.
If you said you didn't even want to live anymore, it would be different.
But you say you want to live, just don't know how.
Maybe you are not completely determined to die yet?

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

hey, i hope shit works out. But if you want to live, I'd reconsider, don't rush things and think it through

best of luck

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I'm so sorry life has treated you this way. You deserve far better than this. I have similar experiences with the medical profession doing ghastly things to me, if you stay around, please feel free to reach out to me. There are others like yourself who have been put through hell and we understand how it feels to be kicked down by those with more power.

 

[fred farkle]

This is the day. There is no point in living with this fucking illness anymore. I am extremely emotionally numb(i lost my capability to feel emotions completely). I lost my ability to feel pleasure, my drive to work and do anything at all. I lost my will to live completely, i am a person that wants to live but can't. I hate everyone and i especially hate the medical industry, this entire disgusting society ruled by the most wicked people that have ever existed. This is a world ruled by real monsters. Fuck those monsters that ruined mu life before i could even live it. Fuck

you sound angry. thats good. maybe you can use it to fight?

 

[neitherherenorthere]

I agree with you regarding society and the medical industry and I'm sorry it's driven you to such desperation. You say you can't live the life you want but you still want to live, so please don't do anything out of frustration and anger in the head of the moment. I'm not going to go on about trying therapy or working to make your life better or anything like that, because I don't know your story and you've probably heard it all before, but if you're determined to CTB please at least take the time to plan something out (as WOL says) so you don't end up just hurting yourself more. I hope things improve for you, regardless.

 

[blue_muse]

Whatever you decide, rest assured you have the surrogate SS family surrounding you. Like neitherherenorthere says, if you're determined to CTB then consider taking your sweet time in doing so - final middle finger salute to the medical profession! I feel what you say about the medical field, they get away with far too much negligence these days yet somehow have a legal machine behind them defending serious wrongdoings. Although they've wronged you, it be worth noting at how much you are in control of your destiny even if that means saying goodbye. You're freer than you realise Annabella . What freedom will these people have as they go through life, they'll fail on an epic scale eventually.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

a hug and we'll see you in the universe, have a good trip

 

[Donk]

I wish you a peaceful exit. See you on the other side.

 

[fixitinpost]

This is the day. There is no point in living with this fucking illness anymore. I am extremely emotionally numb(i lost my capability to feel emotions completely). I lost my ability to feel pleasure, my drive to work and do anything at all. I lost my will to live completely, i am a person that wants to live but can't. I hate everyone and i especially hate the medical industry, this entire disgusting society ruled by the most wicked people that have ever existed. This is a world ruled by real monsters. Fuck those monsters that ruined mu life before i could even live it. Fuck

As someone in the middle of a burnout-induced depression, I can relate to this. And the whole mental health system is crippled due to politics, so it's very hard to feel cared about. I hope you're able to feel that this community is a place where you can be heard and taken seriously. And that if you ever want to talk things through, we're here. Heck, if you just feel like letting out some frustration or anger, my PM inbox is always open. I'm partly deaf so just go ahead and shout if needed! (bad attempt at humor, but it's true!).

I don't know how it makes you feel, but for me thoughts about imminent suicide can be a relief in themselves. Like taking control.

 

[anxious]

So sorry that life has come to this for you :( I wish you all the peace in the world wether you decide to stay or go.

 

[Annabella]

This is the moment I'll kill myself. Everyone is asleep and i am alone(finally!) I made a noose out of my mother's clothing rope and it seems really good and durable. I really wanted to live, i had so much will to live and so many goals but now i feel brain damaged. I can't do anything anymore because no matter how much i try i feel lile my brain is made out of lead. I had great hopes for the future but this mental illness literally destroyed me internally and as a person. I am a shell of a being, i hurt so much it doesn't make sense anymore. I really wanted to live but there is no life for me anymore,no matter how hard i try i feel extremely numb and like my brain is leaking out. My mind is like my own personal jail, it hurts so much... I am not a quitter but there really isn't any other way for me... If i won't post in 8 hours it means that i finally found peace.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Damn that hit hard. Rest in peace.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Rest in peace Annabella. I hope your final moments were as peaceful as they could be.

If you're somehow still here there's no shame in reaching out. We won't judge.

 

[Lady black]

Hope you are in peace now

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Last seen Monday at 9am.
@Annabella are you still with us?
Hope you're OK!