Crematoryy
Wandering endlessly
- Feb 12, 2025
- 220
We talked on voice calls, and she cried to me, asking for forgiveness for her actions. She told me about being abused by her two uncles in childhood; she said she still had feelings for me, and told me to trust her again. She cried, saying it wasn't fair that I felt so alone and lost. She was showering while on the call with me.
Why did she decide to leave? Yesterday, March 22nd, 2026, we were talking, and I said, "You can't disregard everything I did; maybe it was a mistake for me to support someone who sees me as disposable." I said, "You woke up and didn't say 'good morning,' so I decided to do my chores before talking to you again." I wanted to have an active voice in our relationship, instead of swallowing what bothered me. And she left, over something so trivial. I gave my best; I took care of my body to please her. I trusted her twice, and history repeated itself. Maybe I'll try talking to her again on another phone number, but not now. She doesn't deserve my love, even though I don't want to accept that truth. I always gave everything (oh god...) I gave everything of myself to someone.
The thing is, nobody can replace the presence she offered me. I have a deep emotional dependence on her. I'm crying, and crying, and crying. My dream was to have met this person. But that's out of my control.
All I wanted was to have someone to talk to at home when I got back from work.
I used to share things that happened on this forum with her, and that annoyed her a bit, because she would tell me, "I'm your support person, you should look for a real person and not strangers." It sounds ironic to remember, I'm right here, and she chose to exclude me.
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Why did she decide to leave? Yesterday, March 22nd, 2026, we were talking, and I said, "You can't disregard everything I did; maybe it was a mistake for me to support someone who sees me as disposable." I said, "You woke up and didn't say 'good morning,' so I decided to do my chores before talking to you again." I wanted to have an active voice in our relationship, instead of swallowing what bothered me. And she left, over something so trivial. I gave my best; I took care of my body to please her. I trusted her twice, and history repeated itself. Maybe I'll try talking to her again on another phone number, but not now. She doesn't deserve my love, even though I don't want to accept that truth. I always gave everything (oh god...) I gave everything of myself to someone.
The thing is, nobody can replace the presence she offered me. I have a deep emotional dependence on her. I'm crying, and crying, and crying. My dream was to have met this person. But that's out of my control.
All I wanted was to have someone to talk to at home when I got back from work.
I used to share things that happened on this forum with her, and that annoyed her a bit, because she would tell me, "I'm your support person, you should look for a real person and not strangers." It sounds ironic to remember, I'm right here, and she chose to exclude me.
I wanted someone who would never leave. Someone who would love me the way I love myself. I'm sooooooo lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyWe talked on voice calls, and she cried to me, asking for forgiveness for her actions. She told me about being abused by her two uncles in childhood; she said she still had feelings for me, and told me to trust her again. She cried, saying it wasn't fair that I felt so alone and lost. She was showering while on the call with me.
Why did she decide to leave? Yesterday, March 22nd, 2026, we were talking, and I said, "You can't disregard everything I did; maybe it was a mistake for me to support someone who sees me as disposable." I said, "You woke up and didn't say 'good morning,' so I decided to do my chores before talking to you again." I wanted to have an active voice in our relationship, instead of swallowing what bothered me. And she left, over something so trivial. I gave my best; I took care of my body to please her. I trusted her twice, and history repeated itself. Maybe I'll try talking to her again on another phone number, but not now. She doesn't deserve my love, even though I don't want to accept that truth. I always gave everything (oh god...) I gave everything of myself to someone.
The thing is, nobody can replace the presence she offered me. I have a deep emotional dependence on her. I'm crying, and crying, and crying. My dream was to have met this person. But that's out of my control.
All I wanted was to have someone to talk to at home when I got back from work.
I used to share things that happened on this forum with her, and that annoyed her a bit, because she would tell me, "I'm your support person, you should look for a real person and not strangers." It sounds ironic to remember, I'm right here, and she chose to exclude me.
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