I shouldn’t still be here

[Deadlyroses]

I was supposed to CBT this past weekend. Had it all planned out. I had to call off my plans for unspecified reasons. It is such a surreal feeling to still be alive after planning something like this and fully accepting that you've reached the end. I had truly accepted the end. I made full peace with it. Only to still be here in this pathetic life of mine. I feel so numb. I wish I were gone already.

 

[Chiisai]

I was supposed to CBT this past weekend. Had it all planned out. I had to call off my plans for unspecified reasons. It is such a surreal feeling to still be alive after planning something like this and fully accepting that you've reached the end. I had truly accepted the end. I made full peace with it. Only to still be here in this pathetic life of mine. I feel so numb. I wish I were gone already.

I feel you. I too am struggling to leave even though I have accepted it already. Upon reading other threads, other members here also have similar concerns. Just know you are not alone in this.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I was supposed to CBT this past weekend. Had it all planned out. I had to call off my plans for unspecified reasons. It is such a surreal feeling to still be alive after planning something like this and fully accepting that you've reached the end. I had truly accepted the end. I made full peace with it. Only to still be here in this pathetic life of mine. I feel so numb. I wish I were gone already.

I'm really sorry that's how it is for you. But I get it. I'm kinda feeling the same way. It's gonna be okay. You'll get your chance again

 

[chocolatebar]

I was supposed to CBT this past weekend. Had it all planned out. I had to call off my plans for unspecified reasons. It is such a surreal feeling to still be alive after planning something like this and fully accepting that you've reached the end. I had truly accepted the end. I made full peace with it. Only to still be here in this pathetic life of mine. I feel so numb. I wish I were gone already.

I also feel like I'm not supposed to be here and one thought that relieves me is that after dying, it won't make any difference for me if I died earlier or later, because there will be no me anymore

 

[Risperdead]

I was supposed to CBT this past weekend. Had it all planned out. I had to call off my plans for unspecified reasons. It is such a surreal feeling to still be alive after planning something like this and fully accepting that you've reached the end. I had truly accepted the end. I made full peace with it. Only to still be here in this pathetic life of mine. I feel so numb. I wish I were gone already.

do you like to tell what the unspecified reason is. why did you cancel your plan and what is your ctb method ?!
you not attempted suicide and failed, which is no fun, i can tell you, but cancelled your plans. not good for sure, but do not worry, next time the overall situation will be a better one. feel you, have a nice day

 

[Zzzzz]

I think I know that feeling. I've had so many plans. Worked so hard on methods yet here I am still. It can be very discouraging.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel. I have made peace with my decision to ctb and non existence is what I want but it is hard to let go of life. If it was easier, I would have been gone a long time ago. The thing I want is eternal sleep. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.