I sell cats

[PaYo]

Are you suicidal? Do you want to die and leave it all? Buy a cat! While you sleeping he will jump at you and choke you to death! No joking. But you will have a loyal friend whos always hungry. At least even if youll do it. Hell eat you body and no one will find you. Get a cat. Best friend you can have.

Disclaymer. Cats minimaluze depression and cause happy mood. After taking a cat you wont have a time to consider suicide. You will be watching smurf with him and bag of popcorn

 

[Cupcake]

Are you suicidal? Do you want to die and leave it all? Buy a cat! While you sleeping he will jump at you and choke you to death! No joking. But you will have a loyal friend whos always hungry. At least even if youll do it. Hell eat you body and no one will find you. Get a cat. Best friend you can have.

Disclaymer. Cats minimaluze depression and cause happy mood. After taking a cat you wont have a time to consider suicide. You will be watching smurf with him and bag of popcorn

LOL! I love your dark humor!

 

[andy69]

My cat is the only thing keeping me alive.

 

[mesohappy]

Theres so many strays in my neighborhood..No doubt I would be eaten pretty quickly if I CTB in the backyard and went undiscovered.I really don't mind the thought.No use letting perfectly good meat go to waste.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Haha damn I love your posts.

Cat people are the only people I can trust

 

[PaYo]

Yeah mine too. And hope for love

 

[ctbUniquectb]

I'm not sure how I feel about cats as therapy ever since I saw this one documentary about Wall Street ...

Spoiler

 

[Epsilon0]

I love cats as well.

But to be on the safe side one should get a hyena. Cats, being superior to all other animals, have aristocratic taste, so they will not eat a decomposing corpse. A hyena on the other hand will get the job done.

 

[ctbUniquectb]

(hyenas) will eat a decomposing corpse.

Thank you!

I can never bring myself to joke on threads like the one below. Eventually, I'm going to blurt out, "if you're so concerned about your fucking pets, then kill yourself naked, slathered in BBQ sauce!"

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/pets.32501/

 

[mesohappy]

I love cats as well.

But to be on the safe side one should get a hyena. Cats, being superior to all other animals, have aristocratic taste, so they will not eat a decomposing corpse. A hyena on the other hand will get the job done.

Kitty cats will only eat the tender choice portions like lips and cheeks,maybe earlobes.The hyena will strip your corpse and crunch through your bones..Better yet a bearded vulture.Those critters diets are 90% bone.They look pretty cool too.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

It's funny how it offends people to think about their cat eating them after they die... it strips away their anthropomorphic illusions that their cat loves them and will grieve them the rest of its life

 

[ctbUniquectb]

They look pretty cool too.

Spoiler: accurate hyena footage

 

[lowres]

all this talk of cats eating corpses and this is all i can think of

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Are you suicidal? Do you want to die and leave it all? Buy a cat! While you sleeping he will jump at you and choke you to death! No joking. But you will have a loyal friend whos always hungry. At least even if youll do it. Hell eat you body and no one will find you. Get a cat. Best friend you can have.

Disclaymer. Cats minimaluze depression and cause happy mood. After taking a cat you wont have a time to consider suicide. You will be watching smurf with him and bag of popcorn

I love cats. But I want to die more. I just don't want to have to leave one behind when I CTB.

 

[Sensei]

It's funny how it offends people to think about their cat eating them after they die...

Well, they're survival experts. I don't mind at all that my cats might start eating my face if it takes longer than expected to find my body. I don't want them to starve.

(For the record: dogs do exatly the same thing.)

 

[a.n.kirillov]

@PaYo when are we getting another cat post

 

[Despondent]

I love this I also love kitties!!