toxicjester
The world’s worst jester
- Dec 11, 2023
- 30
Tomorrow/today is my gf's birthday. All I wanted to do today was buy all the "party" supplies (it's just the two of us so it's not really a party) and then get her some food before we placed games and watched arcane. Then I'd stay up/wake up super early to clean up the room and set up her cake n stuff that I got and her presents too.
But then I was low energy today and when she was trying to play wrestle I told her I didn't want to in the worst way and it put her in a bad mood. In an attempt to make it better I told her we could go ahead and grab food, but I took too long in the stores getting all her stuff that by the time I was out, the only way to get food was via drive thru.
Even tho I told her I could at least drive us in the drive thru she still felt like she looked too ugly even in the passenger seat, and I couldn't get her to feel better about it. In a moment of weakness I started crying because I could see that I dialed and that this would travel into tomorrow and by doing that, she got exponentially more upset and after arguing, we just went home without any food.
I ruined Halloween for her and now I've ruined her birthday before it even started. I really wish I had all my stuff out of her place and could break up with her so that when I ctb'd it wouldn't hurt her as much
I just want it to end, everything hurts all the time and my anxiety has never been worse. I just want to be a seal. I'm so lonely and scared
But then I was low energy today and when she was trying to play wrestle I told her I didn't want to in the worst way and it put her in a bad mood. In an attempt to make it better I told her we could go ahead and grab food, but I took too long in the stores getting all her stuff that by the time I was out, the only way to get food was via drive thru.
Even tho I told her I could at least drive us in the drive thru she still felt like she looked too ugly even in the passenger seat, and I couldn't get her to feel better about it. In a moment of weakness I started crying because I could see that I dialed and that this would travel into tomorrow and by doing that, she got exponentially more upset and after arguing, we just went home without any food.
I ruined Halloween for her and now I've ruined her birthday before it even started. I really wish I had all my stuff out of her place and could break up with her so that when I ctb'd it wouldn't hurt her as much
I just want it to end, everything hurts all the time and my anxiety has never been worse. I just want to be a seal. I'm so lonely and scared
