Venting I really thought that I could make it out.

[Riverz]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. really

I really didnt think I would be here today.... I shouldn't be here today. I didnt want to see the sun rise or have to eat another meal, or to be here making this damn stupid post.
I had a plan, maybe not the best, but it seemed like it had a good rate for success.
I was so ready to just disappear.
Everything went to fucking plan other than one thing. Why did my friend reach out then? Of all times, why did it have to be then?
I didnt hear anything from people for weeks, thats what I wanted. I needed to Isolate so fucking bad. Other people are the only thing that stand in my way.
I dont know why I told him anything. I should have just kept my fucking mouth shut. I dont know why I made a cry for help. Im so fucking stupid for doing it.
I would be gone right now, I SHOULD BE GONE RIGHT NOW! people always complicate things........
Now everyone knows. Its gonna make it even harder next time.
Do I really want help?
I still have my backup plan. I wont let them take it from me. Its all I have.
I swear im such a fucking drama queen.

I fucking hate this world, I have no place in it. LET ME OUT!

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you would feel so frustrated, I also very much hate this hellish world and I view it as being a terrible idea to tell other people about feeling suicidal if one actually wishes to die. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you eventually achieve the outcome that you are searching for.