Help I really don’t wanna die.

[Mustkeyknow]

I feel so emotional because after so many years being (superficiality? I was doing a lot of drugs back then) happy, I don't wanna die, but sometimes it feels like i have no other choice, I don't know it's just- at this point I know I won't be a billionaire and I won't do much for humanity or w/e but I don't wanna leave. Life is all I got, life is all we got. But it feels life the process of staying is so hard, no psychiatrist or psychologist really understands. At this point i know I'll probably end up CTB but I don't want it to be now I wanna give life another chance.

Does anybody feels the same way? A user once pointed out that depression leaves a mark in ones life forever and it makes you more humble, stronger and more aware of who you are and I really believe that, it resonated with me. I'm probably too alone and we all know loneliness equals depression.

My psychologist said suicide is the proof this society is sick, and it's not us who are sick it's society. I mean if that's not the truth...

 

[Sensei]

I feel the same way as you, basically. I'm very tired after many years of fighting, but I still have good days and I cling to the hope that things might get better. If I decide to actually go through with it, it will be a preemptive strike to avoid a future of potential suffering.

If you want to live you should obviously not kill yourself. You should keep on fighting as long as there's hope and you have the energy and determination. Maybe you'll reach a point where life is unbearable and then you may start planning your departure, but not untill then.

I agree with your psychologist. with the exception of people who get struck by illness. Society can hardly be blamed for that.

 

[Suicide_vampire]

I feel the same as above posts. Everyday is a fight, while I still feel suicidal I don't want to act on it right now. I've had a couple of attempts in the past. But I'm still here and trying to carry on. I don't have much of a life either, spend most of my time on my own. My only company is my dog, and she has been a lifeline and reason to carry on. It's maybe an idea for those feeling this way to get a pet. I think dogs are better than cats because dogs require you go outside for walks and even this minimal routine, gives your life some meaning.
I think anyone in recovery needs to find purpose, no matter how insignificant it seems. Purpose doesn't need to be something important just a reason to get up and carry on. Things might get better where you become a "useful member of society" but if you don't then find meaning in your own life. Set small goals and tasks that are easily achievable, as you see progress, set bigger more longer term goals. Even if it's to read all the books in a series or see a band live or watch a series etc.
Think I went off track here I do tend to ramble sometimes once I start typing.

 

[Dead beat dad]

I feel so emotional because after so many years being (superficiality? I was doing a lot of drugs back then) happy, I don't wanna die, but sometimes it feels like i have no other choice, I don't know it's just- at this point I know I won't be a billionaire and I won't do much for humanity or w/e but I don't wanna leave. Life is all I got, life is all we got. But it feels life the process of staying is so hard, no psychiatrist or psychologist really understands. At this point i know I'll probably end up CTB but I don't want it to be now I wanna give life another chance.

Does anybody feels the same way? A user once pointed out that depression leaves a mark in ones life forever and it makes you more humble, stronger and more aware of who you are and I really believe that, it resonated with me. I'm probably too alone and we all know loneliness equals depression.

My psychologist said suicide is the proof this society is sick, and it's not us who are sick it's society. I mean if that's not the truth...

I feel you brother. Feel you to the core.
I think the line from the song 'Old man River' sums it up for me:
'Tied of living, scared of dying...'

Love and respect to you friend.
DBD

 

[Squiddy]

I really don't wanna die, but feel like I have no choice as life is hell