I really can't wait until it's my time

[Shadows From Hell]

I'm so sick of the assholes in my family. Constantly being called names, telling me I'm not good enough, downgrading me in front of other people. The shit goes on and on.

BUT..... When they learned a some years ago that I was a suicide risk, all of a sudden I was an important person in their lives, how I would be missed if I was gone, and the gaping hole I would leave in the lives of others.

It went from me being an "important part" in their lives to being their lolcow. They have no fucking care about my feelings, and it's pointless to say anything about things they say bothering me, because when I do, it gets worse.

Being fucked with by people not related to you is bad enough, but when it's your own family attacking you, it's a whole different ballgame.

I'll be so fucking glad when it's my time. 2 months to fucking go...

 

[ma0]

I often see that this is how the world functions. If you're not productive, then you're apparently a worthless human being but the second suicide is considered, suddenly "every life matters" and "everyone deserves to feel loved"

 

[flkywch]

yeah the not caring to caring pipeline when you add the word "suicide" is really mind bending. the way i see it, it doesn't change how ppl feel deep down but instead gives them a source of guilt and it's their way of coping

 

[loneloser]

I fucking hate my family too. I've told them I wanted to kill myself multiple times in the past and one of them have found me passed out on the floor due to the 20 sleeping capsules I took once.

Their response?

My sibling, father, and mother have all told me to "Kill myself" at least once in past few years. Now I don't know whether to prove them right and do it or prove them wrong and live, but it's looking like I'm gonna prove them right. Life is just not worth living anymore.

I've stopped caring about family or telling them about my "feelings" or anything to do with them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand just wishing to be free from the suffering of existing, I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.