I need to know if this long-term obsession/trauma will stop.

[SuicideByBelt]

All day, every day, I ruminate on the past. It is a long-term obsession which won't stop.

My mind constantly reflects on the past in an intense, constant, uncontrollable way. It keeps me up at night and makes me wake up early in the morning. It has for 3 years. 3 years ago I was just as affected by these things as I am now, and I need to know I can overcome this. I need to know I won't be 65 and still thinking about the same things as 23.

I've done EMDR 5 times now.

 

[Nem]

All day, every day, I ruminate on the past. It is a long-term obsession which won't stop.

My mind constantly reflects on the past in an intense, constant, uncontrollable way. It keeps me up at night and makes me wake up early in the morning. It has for 3 years. 3 years ago I was just as affected by these things as I am now, and I need to know I can overcome this. I need to know I won't be 65 and still thinking about the same things as 23.

I've done EMDR 5 times now.

I hear you, it's takes some serious trauma to hold a person back like this

 

[BPD_LE]

All day, every day, I ruminate on the past. It is a long-term obsession which won't stop.

My mind constantly reflects on the past in an intense, constant, uncontrollable way. It keeps me up at night and makes me wake up early in the morning. It has for 3 years. 3 years ago I was just as affected by these things as I am now, and I need to know I can overcome this. I need to know I won't be 65 and still thinking about the same things as 23.

I've done EMDR 5 times now.

I understand. EMDR didn't help me. I don't know the answer to your question I'm afraid. I guess people are different. I still go over and obsess about things that happened 20 years ago. I think it has eased slightly with time, but I still get the odd bad day where it takes over. That's probably not what you want to hear. I'm sorry.

 

[SuicideByBelt]

I understand. EMDR didn't help me. I don't know the answer to your question I'm afraid. I guess people are different. I still go over and obsess about things that happened 20 years ago. I think it has eased slightly with time, but I still get the odd bad day where it takes over. That's probably not what you want to hear. I'm sorry.

At least you're telling the truth. Is this obsession all day every day like me?

 

[BPD_LE]

At least you're telling the truth. Is this obsession all day every day like me?

On the bad days, it can be. But there are good days too where it may just cross my mind. I don't think it will ever go away completely.

 

[woxihuanni]

All I can share is own experience. After being mobbed for a couple of years, I could not stop thinking about it resentfully, uncontrollably for about eight months. And then circumstances changed for the better and it was cut off pretty quick. Now I don't think about it all, and if somebody reminds me, I don't boil with resentment. It no longer seeps into my dreams. Completely over it.

 

[wiIIow]

mileage may vary, and unfortunately nobody can answer this question for you with absolute certainty. I think for most, though, the suffering is at least reduced over time. I don't know what your situation is, but I can share my own experience and perspective.

I was abused, controlled and manipulated for the majority of my life. two separate people who, very similarly, systematically destroyed everything from my sense of self worth to my very perception of reality.

after escaping person #2, it didn't get any better for a very long time. several years of relentless nightmares, paranoia, anxiety, and bringing myself to a pathetic, drunken stupor every single day just to try and escape it all. it didn't work, but oblivion was better than dealing with the reality of the situation at the time. Still, it consumed my life, it tainted my every thought.

I'd guess it's been maybe about 6 years now, since the beginning of the post-abuse nightmare. Things have gotten at least more tolerable. I still look over my shoulder, I still flinch and panic at slight (and false) indications that I may have done something wrong, once in a while a nightmare will come and fuck up my night. It still revives the horror to receive a letter in the mail from person #1, for a little while. But it isn't as bad anymore, the thoughts aren't as extreme or obsessive. It's more like unresolved background noise now. I'm still very damaged and have a difficult time navigating interpersonal relationships. I still deal with occasional guilt and doubt. But there is less suffering than before, it doesn't consume every facet of my existence. It's more of a concrete fact in my head that I was abused, rather than worrying that it may have been the other way around, as my abusers would have me believe.

so, has it gone away? absolutely not. however, it doesn't all lord itself over my life the way it once did. I can only hope that the pain will continue to very slowly diminish over time.

Give it time, and go easy on yourself; 3 years can still be relatively fresh. I hope this helps, and I hope you will come to find some much-needed peace of mind and solace.

 

[alexithymia]

i get it, op. it's like a have a pathological desire to only look backwards instead of forwards (or even be in the present). i am CONSTANTLY mulling over the same shit and am haunted by ghosts of my past. it's horrendous. i've ruined relationships because i couldn't get over the past when i was in them and now i ruminate and ruminate and ruminate over what could have been done differently if i wasn't doing that. it's a pattern where i'm consistently ruining my life with my obsessions.

i wish i had a better, more uplifting answer to give you but the truth is, i'm clearly still struggling. i'm going to talk to my therapist about it and maybe i can hand over some tips for you if you'd like.

 

[Final Escape]

All day, every day, I ruminate on the past. It is a long-term obsession which won't stop.

My mind constantly reflects on the past in an intense, constant, uncontrollable way. It keeps me up at night and makes me wake up early in the morning. It has for 3 years. 3 years ago I was just as affected by these things as I am now, and I need to know I can overcome this. I need to know I won't be 65 and still thinking about the same things as 23.

I've done EMDR 5 times now.

Sounds exactly like my deal. I'm haunted by the past. I've not done EMDR but did u just start doing the EMDR? If so I've heard it's going to bring things to the surface more and it might actually make shit worse before u get better. I've heard it helps people, though I'm not sure if by itself it fixes or resolved the past. There might be additional stuff to deal with like emotional flashbacks and triggers. After I watch finding freedom media on YouTube I realize the scope of how much work is involved in overcoming a terrible childhood. It's like fuck

 

[Sweet emotion]

All day, every day, I ruminate on the past. It is a long-term obsession which won't stop.

My mind constantly reflects on the past in an intense, constant, uncontrollable way. It keeps me up at night and makes me wake up early in the morning. It has for 3 years. 3 years ago I was just as affected by these things as I am now, and I need to know I can overcome this. I need to know I won't be 65 and still thinking about the same things as 23.

I've done EMDR 5 times now.

Well there's no way we could tell you what is going to happen but maybe you have OCD? Since these are obsessive thoughts are affecting your life. I don't think people realize how depressive obsessive thoughts can be or how they can just destroy your life. That happened to me when I was 15-17. Going to a good there can definitely help. It helped me tremendously. But you have to find a good one. One who really knows about what you have and one that can give you tools to practice. And you should see a psychiatrist at the same time. Preferably if they work together. I wish you the best of luck.