Venting I need to Give my life to god

[keylimechinchilla]

God can save me,, they can save my soul,,, I need to give my life to them,, I have no purpose now… but I can give myself one in death….. if I die for them,,, I can be of use to someone. I need to be guided. I need to be guided to them!!! I need someone to show me their way of life, I need someone to introduce me to their god! I'll do anything for them, my body is the only thing confining me from reaching them…

 

[dimgobaith]

Would perhaps a vocation of the religious life possibly accomplish what you seek? A very good friend was suicidal and sought solace in a monastery. The nightmares, the hallucinations and other thinge ceased there. I'm not trying to discourage you in your own quest, i'm looking at ctb myself but i do remember when i was desperate a few years ago that God, churches and cathedrals were a way of coping with what situations i found myself in.
I cannot say i truly have one religion but maybe i pick bits out of many

 

[Natty*]

God can save me,, they can save my soul,,, I need to give my life to them,, I have no purpose now… but I can give myself one in death….. if I die for them,,, I can be of use to someone. I need to be guided. I need to be guided to them!!! I need someone to show me their way of life, I need someone to introduce me to their god! I'll do anything for them, my body is the only thing confining me from reaching them…

I'm Adventist and if you'd like, I can send you a number to a prayer line where you can ask a pastor any question you'd like and he will also pray with you. They believe in God (of the Bible) though and I'm unsure what you mean when you say "they". Anyway, just let me know if you'd like that number Also, you can call them every day (except Saturday, the Sabbath) and they will talk to you for a long time if needed. They will even connect you with people in your area who can come talk and pray with you. Your life is definitely of value to God though I'm guessing my beliefs are rather unpopular on the forum.

 

[SVEN]

Many Churches and religious groups in western cities have helplines for people seeking information, counsel or guidance if you check for them either online or in your local directories. That's from a Christian perspective, I'm not sure if other faiths have similar, though I would expect they do.
If you're seeking to die for God, I'm sorry, that would be an unknown area for me.

 

[hopeless-believer]

The last thing God would want is for you to 'dis for them'. You can live a life of service and devotion, of commitment, good deeds, love and kindness, that's more in line with the loving God of the Christian faith. People would welcome you there, and with time, you may find purpose and restoration there.

 

[EternalShore]

I get that you say you want to join a cult, but cults will just make you feel even worse when they manipulate or disfellowship you in the long run~ >_< since you'll lose any community you had for good~ D: Which seems like it may have happened to you already~ >_<
Anyways, it may take a few attempts, but I know that many Christian churches can be very welcoming for newcomers to the faith~ :) Not all ofc, but you can try a few different ones on different Sundays and try to get integrate yourself into their community~ :) perhaps joining a Bible study there can help with that too! ^_^
Additionally, you mention a need of dying for God~ While I can not guarantee that that will happen, although there are still plenty of countries where Christianity is persecuted (Even by death), so it definitely can happen if you go to one of those countries! However, throughout history, there have been many martyrs for the Christian God (altho, a few for other religions too) including both missionaries or just laypeople~ You may wish to search up "Christian martyrs" if you are interested~ :)
There are many gods which people worship, and you can make your own choices, but I, myself, am a Christian, which is why introduce you to the Christian God~ :)

 

[gothbird]

What you've expressed here and on your other post appears to reflect symptoms commonly associated with religious psychosis, or a severe spiritual crisis. I say that not to undermine your experience, but to name it with care because what you're feeling is real, overwhelming, and deeply distressing, and it deserves to be recognised for what it is: a mind pushed beyond its threshold, seeking meaning in the only language it can grasp.

The compulsion to give yourself to a higher power, to be guided, to find purpose through death — these are not signs of madness, but of extreme emotional and psychological strain. You are not weak, nor are you shameful for wanting to be loved, accepted, and understood. These are human needs. But when the mind begins to translate those needs into visions of sacrifice and surrender, it is often because it no longer feels it has other ways to cope.

You say your body is what confines you — I understand that sentiment intimately. But please hear this: your body is not the enemy, nor is it the obstacle. It is simply tired. And right now, you are tired. Not unworthy. Not beyond repair. Simply exhausted.

There is nothing wrong with longing for faith, or family, or a place to belong. But you do not need to die to be seen. And this is coming from someone very much pro autonomy. You do not need to sacrifice yourself to be valued. And while I cannot guide you to someone else's god, I can tell you this with certainty: you are not alone.

 

[Natty*]

What you've expressed here and on your other post appears to reflect symptoms commonly associated with religious psychosis, or a severe spiritual crisis. I say that not to undermine your experience, but to name it with care because what you're feeling is real, overwhelming, and deeply distressing, and it deserves to be recognised for what it is: a mind pushed beyond its threshold, seeking meaning in the only language it can grasp.

The compulsion to give yourself to a higher power, to be guided, to find purpose through death — these are not signs of madness, but of extreme emotional and psychological strain. You are not weak, nor are you shameful for wanting to be loved, accepted, and understood. These are human needs. But when the mind begins to translate those needs into visions of sacrifice and surrender, it is often because it no longer feels it has other ways to cope.

You say your body is what confines you — I understand that sentiment intimately. But please hear this: your body is not the enemy, nor is it the obstacle. It is simply tired. And right now, you are tired. Not unworthy. Not beyond repair. Simply exhausted.

There is nothing wrong with longing for faith, or family, or a place to belong. But you do not need to die to be seen. And this is coming from someone very much pro autonomy. You do not need to sacrifice yourself to be valued. And while I cannot guide you to someone else's god, I can tell you this with certainty: you are not alone.

Religious psychosis? Okay well I definitely don't want to get into a religious debate. I know I was an atheist and then an agnostic when I was young (into my 20s) and figured I was smarter and wiser than believers who I decided simply needed a crutch of some sort, but anyway. There's so much I could say on this subject regarding pain and turning to God, but I feel that this is the wrong venue, or maybe it's the best venue but it wouldn't be well received at all, sadly. This is the world we live in today.

 

[gothbird]

Religious psychosis? Okay well I definitely don't want to get into a religious debate. I know I was an atheist and then an agnostic when I was young (into my 20s) and figured I was smarter and wiser than believers who I decided simply needed a crutch of some sort, but anyway. There's so much I could say on this subject regarding pain and turning to God, but I feel that this is the wrong venue, or maybe it's the best venue but it wouldn't be well received at all, sadly. This is the world we live in today.

When I mentioned religious psychosis, it wasn't intended as a dismissal of belief or as a provocation of any kind. I respect the shift you've described, from atheism to agnosticism, and the personal journey that likely accompanied it. These transformations are often born from very real encounters with pain and meaning and you're absolutely right: belief is rarely simple, and never one-size-fits-all.

The term "religious psychosis" refers specifically to moments when spiritual belief becomes entangled with distress in such a way that it overwhelms a person's ability to function or think clearly often emerging during crises, breakdowns, or periods of extreme vulnerability. It is not a judgement on faith itself, nor an argument against turning to God in pain. In fact, for many, it's that exact pain which opens the door to belief in the first place. It is more so the pattern in this users posts.

If you ever wish talk about it, I would welcome it in my DMs!

 

[Natty*]

When I mentioned religious psychosis, it wasn't intended as a dismissal of belief or as a provocation of any kind. I respect the shift you've described, from atheism to agnosticism, and the personal journey that likely accompanied it. These transformations are often born from very real encounters with pain and meaning and you're absolutely right: belief is rarely simple, and never one-size-fits-all.

The term "religious psychosis" refers specifically to moments when spiritual belief becomes entangled with distress in such a way that it overwhelms a person's ability to function or think clearly often emerging during crises, breakdowns, or periods of extreme vulnerability. It is not a judgement on faith itself, nor an argument against turning to God in pain. In fact, for many, it's that exact pain which opens the door to belief in the first place. It is more so the pattern in this users posts.

If you ever wish talk about it, I would welcome it in my DMs!

You're so sweet, thank you! I may DM you one of these days.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

"I need to Give my life to god"

The same god that supposedly decided to create this world, wherein it's ok for innocent babies to be born with disfiguring birth defects and insidious diseases??? Not judging, just clarifying.

 

[imOK]

Well, good luck with that.

 

[bankai]

Don't believe in any human being that says they they can introduce you to any God. This is how you get taken advantage of and abused.

 

[hopeless-believer]

Don't believe in any human being that says they they can introduce you to any God. This is how you get taken advantage of and abused.

This is a massive generalisation and untruth.
People who have faith aren't just folk who wish to take advantage or abuse you..

Many who believe in a God find comfort, strength and resilience in such things.

Ofc you shouldn't go into a religion to just give meaning to your death. If you genuinely want support and fellowship or to simply explore faith then you can do in your local church, in a safe way. No abuse or being taken advantage of, instead it may give you hope and community.

So just be courteous of people of all faiths or no faith on the forum bankai please.

 

[bankai]

This is a massive generalisation and untruth.
People who have faith aren't just folk who wish to take advantage or abuse you..

Many who believe in a God find comfort, strength and resilience in such things.

Ofc you shouldn't go into a religion to just give meaning to your death. If you genuinely want support and fellowship or to simply explore faith then you can do in your local church, in a safe way. No abuse or being taken advantage of, instead it may give you hope and community.

So just be courteous of people of all faiths or no faith on the forum bankai please.

I don't have a problem with the general church going public who's looking for community and hope. But the original poster is a little too desperate. This sort of thing can be taken advantage of.

 

[hopeless-believer]

I don't have a problem with the general church going public who's looking for community and hope. But the original poster is a little too desperate. This sort of thing can be taken advantage of.

Yeah, you are right in that regard.

Cults, dying for God, etc have been mentioned in a very short space of time.

It could be a very dangerous route to walk down, lead into religious extremism.

 

[suicidalthoughts]

No. I would not wish my life on anyone.

 

[Daenerys Targaryen]

I need eternal peace and nothing more.

 

[It'sMyLife]

Religious psychosis? Okay well I definitely don't want to get into a religious debate. I know I was an atheist and then an agnostic when I was young (into my 20s) and figured I was smarter and wiser than believers who I decided simply needed a crutch of some sort, but anyway. There's so much I could say on this subject regarding pain and turning to God, but I feel that this is the wrong venue, or maybe it's the best venue but it wouldn't be well received at all, sadly. This is the world we live in today.

I get the feeling you're here to save people. You can do as you like - I'm not criticizing you but , yes , if that's why you're here then it will not be received well. I'm probably twice your age and still agnostic. All I have to do is look around me and I'm reminded that if we're the best some god can do he really blew it . This leads me to believe there is nothing after this . Seriously , us , the human race is the best he can do? Now factor in all of the different beliefs and how they all disagree and it turns into a giant shitshow which is what we have had now for millenniums. But I still hope I'm wrong and you're right. It probably doesn't matter what you believe anyway. Believing doesn't prevent bad things from happening to you.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Are you okay OP? Do you happen to have a history of psychosis or mania or anything like that? Do you happen to be high right now on anything, like psychedelics? I am not saying to make fun of you, these are serious questions. I'm a bit concerned about your statements because it sounds like something might be going on here and I don't want you potentially hurting yourself or anything. If it is the case that there is something going on right now, please try getting some help straight away.

Here's some stuff you can look through in case you are starting to wonder if maybe this might be the result of the stuff I mentioned above:

Understanding Psychosis

This fact sheet presents information on psychosis including causes, signs and symptoms, treatment, and resources for help.

www.nimh.nih.gov

Mania: What Is It, Causes, Triggers, Symptoms & Treatment

A manic episode is a period of abnormally elevated, extreme changes in mood, behavior and activity and energy level. It’s a more severe condition than hypomania.

my.clevelandclinic.org

 

[It'sMyLife]

"I need to Give my life to god"

The same god that supposedly decided to create this world, wherein it's ok for innocent babies to be born with disfiguring birth defects and insidious diseases??? Not judging, just clarifying.

Good question . Anyone who tries to clarify it is just guessing . You could ask a thousand different people and get the same number of excuses

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I kind of understand. I am Catholic. Though my desire for God seems to be a little different than yours. I really want someone to comfort me on the other side when I die. "It's okay. It's over now." I don't really know what will happen after that. I tend to lean towards the idea that I will probably go to purgatory. Personally, I think it will be a place where I can experience things I didn't in life that will help me change and become a better person.

Your words are somewhat similar to my own thinking. I want to give myself back to my God. I want it to end. I want to be comforted and saved from my pain. I don't know if my God will grant me that, and I don't think I will be able to go to heaven right away, but maybe one day. Or maybe I will simply be able to sleep forever. No more pain.

 

[Pluto]

 

[brokeandbroken]

God can save me,, they can save my soul,,, I need to give my life to them,, I have no purpose now… but I can give myself one in death….. if I die for them,,, I can be of use to someone. I need to be guided. I need to be guided to them!!! I need someone to show me their way of life, I need someone to introduce me to their god! I'll do anything for them, my body is the only thing confining me from reaching them…

This seems like a wonderful way to be taken advantage of in horrid ways. Put yourself on on a mission to discover the truth and work from there.

 

[Natty*]

I get the feeling you're here to save people. You can do as you like - I'm not criticizing you but , yes , if that's why you're here then it will not be received well. I'm probably twice your age and still agnostic. All I have to do is look around me and I'm reminded that if we're the best some god can do he really blew it . This leads me to believe there is nothing after this . Seriously , us , the human race is the best he can do? Now factor in all of the different beliefs and how they all disagree and it turns into a giant shitshow which is what we have had now for millenniums. But I still hope I'm wrong and you're right. It probably doesn't matter what you believe anyway. Believing doesn't prevent bad things from happening to you.

I'm here to CTB just like my mother, grandmother, great grandmother, cousins, and I'm guessing you're not older than me. However, if someone specifically reaches out and says they want to live if...., I'm going to try to help. Anything else would be heartless. And yes, I do believe in God, absolutely. I could argue religion with you all day long, but that's not why I'm here. Also, since you questioned why I'm here, I could ask the same since you've been here for 5 years now. So why are you here??

 

[tpboy]

I hate to inform you that at least the gods from the many bibles does not exist

 

[Natty*]

"I need to Give my life to god"

The same god that supposedly decided to create this world, wherein it's ok for innocent babies to be born with disfiguring birth defects and insidious diseases??? Not judging, just clarifying.

God didn't create this world "wherein it's ok for innocent babies........". He created a perfect world, but he also gave us free will and now that sin has entered the picture, He has to let things play out until the end. He's not evil for not intervening and to think so is quite simplistic. Most people don't believe in God either because they haven't done enough research (it can take decades) or because they don't want to follow His commandments but rather than be honest about this, they look for reasons to not believe thinking they appear wise, but really they are only wise in their own eyes. Just clarifying.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

God didn't create this world "wherein it's ok for innocent babies........". He created a perfect world, but he also gave us free will and now that sin has entered the picture, He has to let things play out until the end. He's not evil for not intervening and to think so is quite simplistic. Most people don't believe in God either because they haven't done enough research (it can take decades) or because they don't want to follow His commandments but rather than be honest about this, they look for reasons to not believe thinking they appear wise, but really they are only wise in their own eyes. Just clarifying.

So, mankind is responsible for baby deformities and disease? Right. It doesn't matter. There is no god, anyway. And even if there were, any "being" that would create a world like this FOR ANY PURPOSE, wherein his supposed children are left to suffer insidiously throughout their life, is simply a child abuser. You know, we have laws against child abuse. Man-made laws. That automatically makes man better than any god, or being, or whatever created this "place". The people who don't believe in a god don't because they didn't do enough research, or because they don't want to follow any commandments, they don't believe in any god because they're enlightened and are able to think for themselves because of more advanced brain function, as those that need to rely on mythological and fantastical "stories" that primitive man created for a need at the time to explain the world around them, and as a means to control and establish subservience in the populace of the time.

 

[Natty*]

So, mankind is responsible for baby deformities and disease? Right. It doesn't matter. There is no god, anyway. And even if there were, any "being" that would create a world like this FOR ANY PURPOSE, wherein his supposed children are left to suffer insidiously throughout their life, is simply a child abuser. You know, we have laws against child abuse. Man-made laws. That automatically makes man better than any god, or being, or whatever created this "place". The people who don't believe in a god don't because they didn't do enough research, or because they don't want to follow any commandments, they don't believe in any god because they're enlightened and are able to think for themselves because of more advanced brain function, as those that need to rely on mythological and fantastical "stories" that primitive man created for a need at the time to explain the world around them, and as a means to control and establish subservience in the populace of the time.

Enlightened my ass and it's God with a capital G.

 

[Darkover]

there is no god and nobody can ever be saved from death