Venting I need to get it off my chest.

[Dark Spring]

A few hours ago I spoke with my psychiatrist, we have a video appointment called by covid19 protocol. She constantly tells me that I have to stop being a depressive woman, that I should tell her if I need more medication and I don't know, I don't know if what I'm taking is helping me, I just want to be able to sleep at night and not have more nightmares. I wish I could have a quick death right now.

Everything is getting more and more expensive, I don't have a job and I only receive a financial scholarship for going to college, which I use to pay for my contraceptives, antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. Now I was prescribed more pills, I don't know how much I will have to spend this month just for pills. No one in my house or family knows about this, I can't ask them for financial aid because I would have to explain myself and I don't feel like it.

Why can't I just stop feeling, stop suffering, stop living? I don't know how I'm putting up with so much. I am grateful to have a space like this to let off steam, my psychiatrist told me that I am completely alone and I don't know if that is true, I consider that I have a lot of company here at SS.

 

[Worndown]

I am not sure your psychiatrist has the best advice. " Snap out of it" is easy to say if you are not IN it. Maybe it is time to check with school resources for a free consultation. If not that, check for outreach services. You need a second opinion.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would ask her to define what "a depressive woman" is. And then I'd ask her to stop calling me that and start using descriptions rather than labels. I'd also ask her why she thinks she can tell me to stop doing things, since I don't work for her.

She sounds pretty controlling. I'd probably ask those questions at my last appointment, because I'd be looking for someone else.

Sending a hug if you want one, it's okay if you don't. It's also reusable. It doesn't wear out or expire.

 

[SunnyDaze]

I take Prazosin for nightmares and it helps 100%. Have you tried that?
Also if your psychiatrist tells you that you should stop being a depressive woman, then she shouldn't be a psychiatrist. I'd consider a new one.

 

[TrailerTrash]

We all wish we could just "snap out of it" ..... not that easy. Genuine people here on SS that can be there for you if you need a kind word. I HATE the nightmares ...... the worst for sure and so damn realistic for me ..... rarely have a night without their hauntings.

 

[Dark Spring]

I take Prazosin for nightmares and it helps 100%. Have you tried that?
Also if your psychiatrist tells you that you should stop being a depressive woman, then she shouldn't be a psychiatrist. I'd consider a new one.

I haven't been able to change my psychiatrist for the moment, this whole covid and quarantine thing made everything worse for me and I can't do many consultations with other psychiatrists. Today he gave me something else to help me sleep, on Friday I have to go get the prescription to buy it, I don't know if it will be the same as what you take, I hope so

 

[SunnyDaze]

I haven't been able to change my psychiatrist for the moment, this whole covid and quarantine thing made everything worse for me and I can't do many consultations with other psychiatrists. Today he gave me something else to help me sleep, on Friday I have to go get the prescription to buy it, I don't know if it will be the same as what you take, I hope so

I hope so too. I hope you get some relief.

 

[Apathy's Girl]

Find out if your doctor can send you a bunch of free samples or look online to see if there are any manufacturers' coupons ( I take Latuda for bipolar, without insurance it's over $1,000/bottle, with the manufacturer's coupon it's $15/bottle).

 

[Dark Spring]

Find out if your doctor can send you a bunch of free samples or look online to see if there are any manufacturers' coupons ( I take Latuda for bipolar, without insurance it's over $1,000/bottle, with the manufacturer's coupon it's $15/bottle).

I will find out what I can do, this situation really makes me desperate, I can't find a job and in Argentina everything is more and more difficult.

Thank you very much.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

WOW! Your psychiatrist sucks! Sometimes we're just wired that way. Tell her to fuck off! Her training needs updating, she's living in the dark ages.

 

[Dark Spring]

WOW! Your psychiatrist sucks! Sometimes we're just wired that way. Tell her to fuck off! Her training needs updating, she's living in the dark ages.

Yes, I think he's over 65, I guess that's why he has that attitude. When we talked yesterday he said he was going to talk to my psychologist to see what else he could do. My psychologist is a younger girl and I don't really have any complaints about her, she understands me perfectly and gives me my time to process everything that happens to me. Luckily for my medical coverage her consultations are free and that's good for me because I don't have to spend for every appointment with her.

 

[woxihuanni]

If I had any use for contraceptives, nothing could kill me. Why do you get scolded by shrinks? Tell her to pay your rent and feed you if she wants to be useful. You might be depressed because you are voluntarily talking to this person who infantalises, dehumanises and humiliates you.

 

[Dante]

It really infuriates me when someone tells you how to act or behave especially when they are a medical professional. You have the right to feel however you leave consciousness tells you to feel and that cannot be changed.
Your first positive is that you are seeking help from your own back and that you are taking meds to help so you obviously want to feel so form of your own normality, that being said it seems like your in conflict with yourself over a lot of things. Try making a list of everything that you struggle or suffer with and cross them off one by one and don't stress about them all at once. My final point is that you are who you are right now and you should not be afraid or scared what others think. If you can feel confident enough to tell your family then share your story with them, you never know you may be surprised with the outcome

 

[DJJE]

He sounds like a fucktard.

Medication isn't a silver bullet, but medical professionals chuck it at you because its the easiest solution.

 

[Dark Spring]

If I had any use for contraceptives, nothing could kill me. Why do you get scolded by shrinks? Tell her to pay your rent and feed you if she wants to be useful. You might be depressed because you are voluntarily talking to this person who infantalises, dehumanises and humiliates you.

I want to change my psychiatrist for this very reason, every time I talk to him at the end of the day I feel horrible. The opposite happens with my psychologist who helps me a lot to process everything and I feel good when I talk to her. Tomorrow I have an appointment with her and I'm going to tell her how I feel about him.

It really infuriates me when someone tells you how to act or behave especially when they are a medical professional. You have the right to feel however you leave consciousness tells you to feel and that cannot be changed.
Your first positive is that you are seeking help from your own back and that you are taking meds to help so you obviously want to feel so form of your own normality, that being said it seems like your in conflict with yourself over a lot of things. Try making a list of everything that you struggle or suffer with and cross them off one by one and don't stress about them all at once. My final point is that you are who you are right now and you should not be afraid or scared what others think. If you can feel confident enough to tell your family then share your story with them, you never know you may be surprised with the outcome

Thank you, I will try it. If I feel that he is not being very professional with me, every appointment I have to tell him again everything that led me to be in this state of mind because he never remembers or takes note of what I tell him, that makes me feel super bad because it is having to repeat in my head all the history that I try to forget or overcome. I try very hard to seek professional help because I don't want to hurt those I love if I decide to ctb, but it's so difficult that sometimes I just want to leave everything and rest my mind from the shit that exists in the world.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

such a stressful thing really that the first step to recovery seems to be a fairly blanket "stop being overwhelmed by depression" and that is really hard to do.

 

[Dark Spring]

such a stressful thing really that the first step to recovery seems to be a fairly blanket "stop being overwhelmed by depression" and that is really hard to do.

I wish everything was as easy as "stop being a depressive person" is what I want most, but I'm not going to make it if they just repeat that to me as if it would make a difference.

 

[bornfree]

making you poorer is a counterproductive thing. You are suicidal so how can they mistreat you this way?

There is just too much cruelty happening to suicidal individuals.
They should be giving you free drugs and free money and more.

 

[Dark Spring]

making you poorer is a counterproductive thing. You are suicidal so how can they mistreat you this way?

There is just too much cruelty happening to suicidal individuals.
They should be giving you free drugs and free money and more.

Unfortunately I don't know if that's possible, I used to give private classes for high school kids and that income helped me a lot, with the pandemic and quarantine I haven't been able to give classes and nobody consults me online. So I have to go to social services in my country. I look for a job all the time but they don't hire me because I'm a university student

 

[bornfree]

Unfortunately I don't know if that's possible, I used to give private classes for high school kids and that income helped me a lot, with the pandemic and quarantine I haven't been able to give classes and nobody consults me online. So I have to go to social services in my country. I look for a job all the time but they don't hire me because I'm a university student

It's so hard what you are going through. Life should not be so bad.