I need to die today.

[justexisting14]

I have to die today. I can't wait any longer. I have very limited options. I have two cars, things to hang myself with, knives, an apartment, and miscellaneous things around the house.

If hanging how can I do a short suspension? I've been trying and no luck.

I have to get out of here. Not that I'm running from anything but I have to die ASAP.

I want to leave here so bad. And I would rather the process not be painful!!!

 

[AbandonedStudio]

Please make sure you've thought your method and date through, it will make things a lot easier for you.
I'm sorry to say that every method is somewhat painful. Some a bit more painful than the others of course. I've heard N is the most peaceful way to ctb, but it takes a lot of time to get it.

 

[woxihuanni]

If you do it without studying the method properly, at a time when you are calm and rational, you might end up suffering more. There're threads on your possible methods. Hugs

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

I have to die today. I can't wait any longer. I have very limited options. I have two cars, things to hang myself with, knives, an apartment, and miscellaneous things around the house.

If hanging how can I do a short suspension? I've been trying and no luck.

I have to get out of here. Not that I'm running from anything but I have to die ASAP.

I want to leave here so bad. And I would rather the process not be painful!!!

Do you have enough money for SN?

 

[oopswronglife]

I am sure this will upset you and I am sorry...it's meant with the best intent...but you don't NEED to do this today. You FEEL like you need to. Those aren't the same thing even though they FEEL like they are. You WILL survive to tomorrow...and the next day if it's required. That's not saying you have to, that it is fun, or you can live forever like that in pain. It's saying that your emotions are pushing you out of desperation. That leads to dangerous and harmful methods. That leads to worse pain. We all owe it to ourselves to be as stable and calm as possible when/if we act. That doesn't mean zen or perfection, it just means NOT in crisis.

When things are this bad as they are for you right now the only thing, and the best thing, is to deal with the present. Manage this moment the best you can. Whatever path you take after that, whether to ctb or to live is easier when you aren't on fire so do what you have to do to put today's fire out...talk here...distract with movies or whatever...go to a doctor...take some pills....get past this so you can focus on that...whatever that is.

 

[justexisting14]

Do you have enough money for SN?

No money unfortunately.

Please make sure you've thought your method and date through, it will make things a lot easier for you.
I'm sorry to say that every method is somewhat painful. Some a bit more painful than the others of course. I've heard N is the most peaceful way to ctb, but it takes a lot of time to get it.

I've been planning for like 3 years.

 

[AbandonedStudio]

I've been planning for like 3 years.

Maybe you need just a few more days to get everything sorted out. It helps a lot to know your exact method and exact date.

 

[oopswronglife]

I've been planning for like 3 years.

I don't think anyone was challenging your efforts...rather that when one says "it has to be TODAY" that's never a good thing...nor helpful to you. If it ever feels that bad you have more immediate issues to address unless your method is ready to go and you were prepared to use it in this event of some such crisis. I still personally think crisis is a terrible time to go even if you are prepared...because it clouds judgement. But everyone's life is theirs. We just want you to have the best chance of whatever you choose.

 

[JoeFailure]

Like oopswronglife said, I do think it's important to be calm and have a plan if you really decide to do it. Way easier said than done, I know. I've had those days. But you don't want something worse to come out of this if it doesn't work if you attempt it without a good plan.

And yes, it is possible that this feeling could pass, or at least get somewhat better. Not saying you still won't want to CTB, but maybe you'll be in a better place to go peacefully if that's unfortunately what it comes down to.

 

[JimFord99]

Please make sure you've thought your method and date through, it will make things a lot easier for you.
I'm sorry to say that every method is somewhat painful. Some a bit more painful than the others of course. I've heard N is the most peaceful way to ctb, but it takes a lot of time to get it.

Planning ahead is the key to success. Out of a mood or sudden impact probably will lead to failure. Calm down, think about it, make up your mind, plan ahead and then act. Good luck.

 

[eve2004]

I have to die today. I can't wait any longer. I have very limited options. I have two cars, things to hang myself with, knives, an apartment, and miscellaneous things around the house.

If hanging how can I do a short suspension? I've been trying and no luck.

I have to get out of here. Not that I'm running from anything but I have to die ASAP.

I want to leave here so bad. And I would rather the process not be painful!!!

I get you. The feeling, the urgency, I just want to turn the lights out and be gone... Im feeling that way exactly NOW as I am texting this. I also have stuff, chemicals of all kinds, but I am trying to hold on until I can get myself together because I know I will botch it up in this state of mind. I'm not saying this will help you at all but I'm going to sedate myself psych ward style and hopefully wake up feeling less impulsive. A CTB plan is not something you want to whip up on the fly of a very impulsive moment like now.

I feel for you. The same thing is going through my head. My pharmacy just called to check on me, I hope I sounded convincing when I said I was fine because I'm bawling my eyes out.

Can you hold on just a bit, it is fairly difficult to CTB properly, near impossible when you're distressed and impulsive. Take the best of two evils and have a drink or 5... don't do it on a whim.

 

[JimFord99]

No money unfortunately.

I've been planning for like 3 years.

WHAT?

Maybe you need just a few more days to get everything sorted out. It helps a lot to know your exact method and exact date.

Agreed.

 

[eve2004]

Get yourself a drink and come back and chat with us here.

 

[justexisting14]

Maybe you need just a few more days to get everything sorted out. It helps a lot to know your exact method and exact date.

Yeah exact date I can do. Exact method, ehh. But I definitely understand why you say this

I don't think anyone was challenging your efforts...rather that when one says "it has to be TODAY" that's never a good thing...nor helpful to you. If it ever feels that bad you have more immediate issues to address unless your method is ready to go and you were prepared to use it in this event of some such crisis. I still personally think crisis is a terrible time to go even if you are prepared...because it clouds judgement. But everyone's life is theirs. We just want you to have the best chance of whatever you choose.

Thank you guys
Sorry guys. As you obviously can tell something happened which led me to say I have to go today.

Yes I've been suicidal for a long time. This particular time I had small hope and it went to crap.

I'm about to lose everything, and that's why I said today. But honestly I can pick an exact date. I see what you all mean, it's better to act when calm.

Thank you all for everything.

 

[scorpiooo2]

Make sure you think it through thoroughly. A failed attempt either leaves you with clarity from a near death experience or with even more serious problems.