Venting i need to die because i will never be perfect for him

[coolgal82]

i hate myself i hate my body i hate my brain i hate all of it i just want him to like me and never leave and i need to be absolutely perfect for that but i can't be like i don't have the self control to change the things i can change and there are other things i can't change i'm so fucking sick of this i'm so sick of existing i shouldnt've been born this is the worst i've felt in a long time i feel like i'm gonna throw up

edit: like 2-3 minutes after this i feel almost fine again. not fine but just kinda nothing but its somewhat better. why is my brain like this?

 

[astroproto]

It's cliche but you should know that you don't have to be perfect for someone to like you. I know tons of couples who have negative stuff to say against each other. Unfortunately though, people do have preferences and sometimes it's things that can't even be changed.

 

[darkandtwisty]

I want you to know, you're not alone in feeling like this. I fucking hate myself because no matter what I do, I'll always be the option he was stuck with. Not what he actually wanted.
But, at the same time, I also know that someone, somewhere is wishing to be with someone like me.
It's hard being an empath. We feel everything so deeply. Love and pain.
You are not alone in this.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

i hate myself i hate my body i hate my brain i hate all of it i just want him to like me and never leave and i need to be absolutely perfect for that but i can't be like i don't have the self control to change the things i can change and there are other things i can't change i'm so fucking sick of this i'm so sick of existing i shouldnt've been born this is the worst i've felt in a long time i feel like i'm gonna throw up

edit: like 2-3 minutes after this i feel almost fine again. not fine but just kinda nothing but its somewhat better. why is my brain like this?

Honey, absolutely no one on earth is even close to being perfect. I would not recommend trying to achieve something that is unattainable for someone else.

 

[coolgal82]

Honey, absolutely no one on earth is even close to being perfect. I would not recommend trying to achieve something that is unattainable for someone else.

i feel like i have to though idk

 

[violetforever]

i bet hes not even perfect to himself so dont be so hard on yourself…

 

[coolgal82]

i bet hes not even perfect to himself so dont be so hard on yourself…

he's perfect to me though

 

[violetforever]

he's perfect to me though

i know, i have someone i pretty much think the same of. no one is worth beating yourself up over though.

 

[louboutinsuicide]

yeah i love it when they come back for a bit with a bit of hope but it always ends up extinguishing. there's always that giant ass stank ass elephant in the room upon recognition of the statistical improbability of this one actually working out

 

[tomatriste]

i too want to die for hopelessness of never being good enough for someone

you're not alone

 

[coolgal82]

i know, i have someone i pretty much think the same of. no one is worth beating yourself up over though.

idk he is

 

[I_go_in]

idk he is

Girl, how old are you?

 

[coolgal82]

Girl, how old are you?

21

 

[I_go_in]

21

Is this your first boyfriend or what? How long have you gone out with him? Usually the first break up sucks ass.

 

[coolgal82]

Is this your first boyfriend or what? How long have you gone out with him? Usually the first break up sucks ass.

we're not like technically dating yet but soon hopefully

 

[I_go_in]

we're not like technically dating yet but soon hopefully

You want to kill yourself over a guy you aren't dating yet? What's the story on this?

 

[coolgal82]

You want to kill yourself over a guy you aren't dating yet? What's the story on this?

well i really like him and wanna date him and he said he wants to too but like the conditions for it arent quite right yet (like we live in entirely different countries) but hopefully those can be like sorted soon

 

[I_go_in]

well i really like him and wanna date him and he said he wants to too but like the conditions for it arent quite right yet (like we live in entirely different countries) but hopefully those can be like sorted soon

How long have you known this person and where did you meet? Also, is your pfp Sakura from FSN?

 

[coolgal82]

How long have you known this person and where did you meet? Also, is your pfp Sakura from FSN?

like a year or two and we met on twitter lol, and yes it is

 

[I_go_in]

like a year or two and we met on twitter lol, and yes it is

I think you're gonna be okay and don't need to commit suicide. You should probably try and meet people in real life. I'm older and know young people meet online but you shouldn't end your life over a person you've never met.

 

[coolgal82]

I think you're gonna be okay and don't need to commit suicide. You should probably try and meet people in real life. I'm older and know young people meet online but you shouldn't end your life over a person you've never met.

idk how to meet people irl all my friends are online, and i wont be ok if i don't have him idk

 

[I_go_in]

idk how to meet people irl all my friends are online, and i wont be ok if i don't have him idk

You've never met this man? Why do you like him so much?

 

[coolgal82]

You've never met this man? Why do you like him so much?

we've talked alot and we have like similar interests and he's funny and smart and mature and we're into like alot of the same things (in terms of like nsfw stuff and sfw stuff)

 

[I_go_in]

we've talked alot and we have like similar interests and he's funny and smart and mature and we're into like alot of the same things (in terms of like nsfw stuff and sfw stuff)

So has he rejected you outright or what's the problem? He has another girl? Speaking as a man there's ways you can just get him to be yours and it's not that difficult. You told him you love him or whatever yet? I'm sure he would be very happy to know how you feel about him. I'm sure most young men would be very happy to have a girlfriend who shares their nsfw likes and stuff like that. You ever tell him how you feel? Guys can be cautious and very dense and be afraid to make moves these days. And I know it's not attractive for you to make the first one but if you say the right things I'm sure he would ask you out.

 

[coolgal82]

So has he rejected you outright or what's the problem? He has another girl? Speaking as a man there's ways you can just get him to be yours and it's not that difficult. You told him you love him or whatever yet? I'm sure he would be very happy to know how you feel about him.

no, he's said he will but like after a few conditions and 2 of those are done buyt the last one is like discussing/planning how i'm gonna like move to him and live with him

no, he's said he will but like after a few conditions and 2 of those are done buyt the last one is like discussing/planning how i'm gonna like move to him and live with him

i'm gonna like bring it up again soon like rn he's going through a tough spot mentally so im waiting till he's feeling a bit better

 

[I_go_in]

no, he's said he will but like after a few conditions and 2 of those are done buyt the last one is like discussing/planning how i'm gonna like move to him and live with him

i'm gonna like bring it up again soon like rn he's going through a tough spot mentally so im waiting till he's feeling a bit better

Well that sounds great. He wants to live with you. I'm sure you guys will be happy together! I just don't understand the thread. It's very easy to seduce men and if he likes you he will tell you. He sounds like a lucky dude to have a girl who knows what FSN is. I wish you the best of luck and there's no need to harm yourself. What are the conditions?

 

[coolgal82]

Well that sounds great. He wants to live with you. I'm sure you guys will be happy together! I just don't understand the thread. It's very easy to seduce men and if he likes you he will tell you.

well yeah but like im still terrified of doing something wrong or annoying him or whatever and him then not liking me, also it really isnt easy cus i have 0 social skills
also even when he says he likes me i still don't know if he actually does or just feels bad or doesnt wanna hurt my feelings idk

 

[I_go_in]

well yeah but like im still terrified of doing something wrong or annoying him or whatever and him then not liking me, also it really isnt easy cus i have 0 social skills
also even when he says he likes me i still don't know if he actually does or just feels bad or doesnt wanna hurt my feelings idk

Well there's good news. Men don't really care about that and zero social skills can even be seen as cute. Has he said "I love you" yet? I guess I just don't understand young people internet relationships these days. Seems like it's going well. Does he see you like a younger sister or a woman? I guess that's the big question.

 

[coolgal82]

Well there's good news. Men don't really care about that and zero social skills can even be seen as cute. Has he said "I love you" yet? I guess I just don't understand young people internet relationships these days. Seems like it's going well. Does he see you like a younger sister or a woman? I guess that's the big question.

he has but like idk my brain still doesnt shut up. also lmao (and the answer is both + daughter :3)

 

[I_go_in]

he has but like idk my brain still doesnt shut up. also lmao (and the answer is both + daughter :3)

Oh that might be too much info. That's sort of weird he sees you as a daughter. Is he much older than you? If so I would say that might not be a good idea. You're probably going to be fine and judging by how long the relationship has gone on he probably has seen your pictures and you've seen his. Probably nothing to worry about. Men are pretty easy. As long as you're cute he probably doesn't care at all that you don't have social skills and it might even be a positive.