Venting I need time

[MsMaudlin]

I'm in so much pain with my fibromyalgia and arthritis, but I'm having to look after my baby granddaughter 5 days a week from 8-3, then my child comes home at 4.

I have everything ready to SN, I just need to do my letters.

I'm on so many different painkillers, I aren't going to get better so whats the point.

My child will have a much better life without me in it.

My friends and family have dropped me by the wayside, I'm stuck in the house for literally weeks on end, my only real friends are on here.

I hate myself and I hate my life.

I just need time to do it now!

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hello beautiful! So sorry..Just wanted to know y u feel ur daughter will have a better life without u if ur so incredibly instrumental in the raising of her daughter (ur grand baby)? I can't even imagine the physical pain ur going thru, along with the emotional..I'm always here if u need to talk..I support u either way..sending love
Ur not alone honey

 

[Quarky00]

I had a friend with fibro.
Cried every day, for hours..
It is so debilitating and painful, and it also made them extremely emotional and aggressive ("can drive a person crazy").

I don't know how you are taking care of your granddaughter under these conditions, maybe you are a bit strong or resourceful, I don't know. That physical pain breaks a person from the inside (along with loneliness, despair, prospects, etc).

Wondering, why would your child will 'be better off without you', considering you take care of their daughter, maybe you are helpful.. (you don't have to explain:)

Also, why do you hate yourself.. what did you do wrong?

 

[WhiteEyes]

How long ago did it become unbearable?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm so sorry for your pain. My mum had arthritis, I watched her suffer with it. Prednisilone worked well for her.
It's awful feeling abandoned alone in the house. I'm the same.
I hope you can get through this.

 

[Ghost2211]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much, and I can see how continuous pain would make you not want to be part of this world. I don't know why you feel your child would be better off without you, as the tendency is for children to love their parents for who and what they are. Do try to keep in mind that your death will become part of your child's narrative. I am not trying to suggest you should or should not take whatever path best suits your needs, but it is just something to keep in mind that it will have a deep and profound impact on your child and grandchild.

if you need support and to talk we are all here.