I need some support and guidance.

[k75]

I'm very physically ill right now. It's made my suicidal urges kick into overdrive, and I really don't want that to be an option right now. I've been kind of trying to recover, and if I did anything right now it would be completely impulsive and not something I want. I just literally need the pain to go away.

I've had one constant headache since the 1st. Nothing makes it go away, and I've been to the ER three times.

I'm having problems with my stomach, and my doctors suspect I'm having a gastroparesis flare up. I can barely eat... I'm managing about 300 calories a day and little to drink. I throw up every day multiple times, and my whole stomach area is just so painful right now.

My back has also decided to join the party. It's my lower back and I can barely move. I don't think I hurt it; it just just started hurting one day. I thought it might be my bed because I've been sick and laying in it so much. But I can't even sit on my couch. And no one will prescribe me anything for the pain because it might interfere with my stomach.

I desperately need to keep going. Does anyone have any advice? I don't want to just randomly kill myself because I'm sick and hurting, but I'm afraid I might.

 

[Rhyme]

Do you have access to an electric/heated blanket? You can lay on it to see if it helps with the back pain any. That's what I learned from family, though google gives mixed results, so you could also try cold. Put some ice in a plastic bag, wrap a towel around it and hold it against your back. I suppose something like hand warmers for camping could also work, for heat. If you have a neck pillow (or really any firm, small-ish sized pillow) around you can also try laying your lower back on it to see if you can find a position that helps. That's what I did whenever my lower back hurt.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm sorry I don't have much more to offer.

 

[k75]

Thank you. I've actually been glued to my heating pad for days. It doesn't help my back, but it is helping with the abdominal pain. I've also tried lidocaine patches. They do a little but not for long. I'll try ice, though. I'm open to anything!

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry, @k75! To go along with @Rhyme's good ideas, can you try sleeping on a quilt on the floor for a night or two? and/or do some gentle back-stretching and -strengthening exercises?
For the stomach and head problems, it sounds weird but I sometimes get more relief from drinking pickle brine than anything else. Just a gulp or two. With (((hugs)))

 

[dandan]

I strongly believe you should at least start walking as a daily routine, various miles. At least start something , some excercise
Testosterone has helped me a lot!!! And dianabol
And exercising

 

[k75]

I strongly believe you should at least start walking as a daily routine, various miles. At least start something , some excercise
Testosterone has helped me a lot!!! And dianabol
And exercising

As a female, I'm not sure that would work for me. But thank you for the suggestions.

I do walk when I can, but more often than not I'm likely to be too nauseous to do it. It really sucks because I do like walking. Just not puking every 10 steps LOL

I'm sorry, @k75! To go along with @Rhyme's good ideas, can you try sleeping on a quilt on the floor for a night or two? and/or do some gentle back-stretching and -strengthening exercises?
For the stomach and head problems, it sounds weird but I sometimes get more relief from drinking pickle brine than anything else. Just a gulp or two. With (((hugs)))

Pickle juice? That's a new one, and it's weird enough that I think I'm going to try it.

I've tried stretching and seriously I'm such a wimp! I can't even bend down to pick something off the floor right now. I tried to muscle relaxers the other night and they did nothing. I have tried the floor and that was excruciating. I tried sitting up and that was excruciating. And my bed hurts. I think I need serious painkillers or someone to shoot me.

Painkillers slow your stomach emptying, which is why they won't give them to me right now. After my gastroparesis test in a couple hours, I'll at least be able to figure out something.

 

[Soul]

Pickle brine sounded kooky to me too, but it helped. The fermented kind (just with salt water) is best but try whatever sour kind you can.

It sounds like you need a new bed, sweetheart. Let us know how the test goes, and I'll keep sending relief waves ~ ~ ~

 

[k75]

@Soul Thanks! I do the test in about an hour and a half, I'm hoping I get the results right then.

The funny thing is a new bed! I got it about 2 months ago, and it was seriously the most comfortable thing until 4 or 5 days ago.

Totally going to try the pickle juice. Sadly I don't have any on hand, but I've been thinking about pickles lately anyway for some reason. LOL

It's funny but just being able to complain about it on here is kind of helping the suicidal thoughts calm down. I've been so frustrated with doctors just dismissing me. My primary care doctor refused to believe that I've had a 19 day long headache.

 

[BPD Barbie]

*rolls up sleeves* someone hold my BPD a sec.

Okey. Firstly for the not eating, I'd recommend something like nutrimel I think they're called. They're calorie controlled drinks for people who can't eat. You can buy them in chemists and stuff like that. Loads of flavours usually and it'll give you calories and nutrients, vitamins and minerals. If not try dry toast, no butter. Also, dioralite if you're on the loo a lot will restore lost nutrients. If you're able to take buscopan as well, that helps cramps.
Headache, try to drink a lot of water. Maybe ask the chemist what they recommend, ibuprofen is good for headaches if you can take it. Rest. You may have a headache becuase you can't eat.
We are here to give you all the encouragement and support you need. We got you! Keep going! You're brave and strong and all that good stuff sending love

 

[k75]

*rolls up sleeves* someone hold my BPD a sec.

Okey. Firstly for the not eating, I'd recommend something like nutrimel I think they're called. They're calorie controlled drinks for people who can't eat. You can buy them in chemists and stuff like that. Loads of flavours usually and it'll give you calories and nutrients, vitamins and minerals. If not try dry toast, no butter. Also, dioralite if you're on the loo a lot will restore lost nutrients. If you're able to take buscopan as well, that helps cramps.
Headache, try to drink a lot of water. Maybe ask the chemist what they recommend, ibuprofen is good for headaches if you can take it. Rest. You may have a headache becuase you can't eat.
We are here to give you all the encouragement and support you need. We got you! Keep going! You're brave and strong and all that good stuff sending love

Thank you! I don't recognize the names of most things you listed, but I believe I can do some research and find equivalents.

Right now I'm an eating a yogurt, a yogurt drink, a pudding cup, and a string cheese if I can tolerate it. So I'm definitely not getting good nutrition, but it's all I can do. So I know meal replacements are a great idea! I just hadn't thought of them.

And I know I'm dehydrated so I'm trying to drink Gatorade because I can't tolerate plain water right now. I figure it might balance my electrolytes a little bit.

I wanted to try ibuprofen because I knew it would also help my back since it's an anti-inflammatory, but I'm on lithium and they say I can't take them together because it might raise my lithium level.

 

[jgm63]

Hope you feel better soon.....

 

[Rhyme]

~snip~

I thought I forgot something. Please try to eat more, 300 calories is really low.

It's funny but just being able to complain about it on here is kind of helping the suicidal thoughts calm down. I've been so frustrated with doctors just dismissing me. My primary care doctor refused to believe that I've had a 19 day long headache.

Seems like lately i'm running into situations where just bitching about something fixes the problem.

But seriously it makes sense. The venting tag exists for a reason, and I'd wager most people here genuinely wish you the best.

And I know I'm dehydrated so I'm trying to drink Gatorade because I can't tolerate plain water right now. I figure it might balance my electrolytes a little bit.

It's really odd to me how that works. Different condition, but I had surgery years ago and after I came to I couldn't tolerate water either. Or Vanilla ice cream. The chocolate was fine though.

 

[k75]

I thought I forgot something. Please try to eat more, 300 calories is really low.


Seems like lately i'm running into situations where just bitching about something fixes the problem.

But seriously it makes sense. The venting tag exists for a reason, and I'd wager most people here genuinely wish you the best.


It's really odd to me how that works. Different condition, but I had surgery years ago and after I came to I couldn't tolerate water either. Or Vanilla ice cream. The chocolate was fine though.

Yeah! The weird aversions are a total mystery to me. But it's like water has a seriously bad taste right now and it's bottled so it shouldn't. I'm actually having trouble with even the Gatorade and I'm forcing myself to drink because I know I can't dehydrate more. I had to pick my yogurts very carefully because some flavors I can't do right now.

I've gotten it to the point where if I eat much more than I'm eating now I will just vomit. So I'm kind of just stuck at these few things that I can eat. Hopefully after this test, they'll have some suggestions about that. It's really weird though, because I'm not feeling hungry at all.

Oh man, I just took a shower and almost fell getting out. I got super dizzy. I don't know how I'm going to endure this test. It's 3-4 hours long!

 

[Sensei]

It sounds ridiculous, but plain ginger is fantastic against nausea and vomiting. For me, it works just as fine as a pharmaceutical antiemetic.

 

[jgm63]

Don't forget about hot honey & lemon drinks, and chicken soup.....
Perhaps a little garlic bread to go with the soup ?

 

[k75]

Thank you
I'll give it a try. I was thinking about making chicken soup, but I felt too weak the other day.

Ginger never works very well for me, although sipping ginger ale does.

 

[Thereisnothing]

@k75 - I really empathize with you. I have severe gastroparesis and also degenerative lumbar spondylitis as well as other illnesses, its so hard.
Regards the gastro all I am down to is plain crisps and ice cream to eat and occasionally a little rice as a treat, only drink water and Dr.Pepper. Even these things hurt like hell but least can keep them down, not like anything else. The pain is hideous. I have got my Gastro from taking very strong narcotics for about 25 years, needed them for my back condition as completely bed bound without and cant even sit or move. Its swings and roundabouts as only got 10% my stomach working and just getting worse now.I cant stop the narcotics obviously so longer take them worse shall get with Gastro-P but also as so tolerant to them not getting the pain relief need and cant go any higher as on max dose daily and if had extra would make Gastro even worse!

I dont really know what to suggest, but I wanted to let you know how similar our probs are with this and its so hard getting enough calories etc etc, BUT we cant do anymore than what we do cos only vomit if eat something more or foods cant tolerate. I cant absorb any vits/minerals now neither can I absorb them in tablet form. I cant tolerate any the build up drinks/supplements as find them far too rich and up they come. Its so frustrating isn't it, the symptoms and the hideous pain. Ginger always makes me very bad which is odd as supposed to be brilliant for stomach problems.

I'm sorry you are suffering so much as know 1st hand how horrid it is to deal with and also frustrated that I cant really give you much help to know what else to try. Are you ok with fizzy drinks, its funny I find Dr.P and Coke great and soothing yet the only fizzy drinks can tolerate. Gastro-P is one weird illness as what suits one doesn't another, really gets me down.

Here if you wish to exchange any notes or just wish to chat or vent. xx

 

[Rhyme]

Well, it's noon. Good enough time as any for me to go to bed. Keep us updated with the test @k75.

 

[dandan]

Maybe testosterone not for you....?
After 20 years... after believing I've tried everything... after 2 ctb failed attempts...
After that...
I tried Testosterone and dianabol
They are doing the trick
Being a woman , girl , you could still try , what about a doctor's opinion , some blood test? Hormones have a psychological effect... at least it did in my case

Best wishes

 

[k75]

I have had different hormone tests. All came back ok. If I took testosterone, bad things would happen. But I'm very glad it's working for you!

I'm almost at the end of my test. So far, my stomach is still pretty full, which is a bad sign. They wanted it to be 90% empty. Not gonna happen.

 

[k75]

So my doctor just called with the results of my test. I was not expecting it so soon. It is gastroparesis, but he thinks I don't need medication or anything like that, I should just watch what I eat. Which kind of really pisses me off, because I can barely eat.

This is a doctor I'm already replacing because he was a complete ass to me the other day. This just kind of seals the deal.

I'm completely clueless about what to do now. And more than a little upset.

 

[Rhyme]

Yeah, I think it's time to get a new one.

Sounds kinda like: "You're sick! Just don't be sick!"

Sorry to hear about the results.

 

[k75]

Yeah, I think it's time to get a new one.

Sounds kinda like: "You're sick! Just don't be sick!"

Sorry to hear about the results.

Definitely. The other day, I went in to see him about this headache I've had. He spent over an hour with me and talked about 20 unnecessary things (if my tetanus shot is current??) And tried to end the visit.

I told him we hadn't discussed what I came in for, and he tried to tell me we'd just have to make a new visit because we had already talked about so much. I actually had to yell at him and say forget the other stuff, this was important and couldn't wait. He acted like it was a chore.

And he wonders why I rarely see him.

 

[Flippy]

What is it with some doctors? You go in with a broken arm, and say "hey doc I broke my arm." And they reply "I see, now let me tell you what's really wrong with you..."

 

[Innereye]

Its insane, the medical system needs a full rework

 

[k75]

I totally agree. I have some good ones, but some doctors are so appalling..

 

[Innereye]

I have had to bring groups of friends into doctors appointments to vouch for me and stop them from gaslighting, its crazy but helps haha
Seeing you go through pretty much the exact same thing as me is heartbreaking and comforting at the same time.

 

[AlexM]

My God, it even hurts to read. I would advise the most powerful analgesics, or non-steroidal anti-inflammatory injections, so as not to injure you stomach. Gastric irritation well relieves with liquid jelly well, I do not know how to say it in English - it's like compote plus starch. There are many herbs that relieve inflammation of the stomach, we use galangal (Alpinia officinalis L.) here, perhaps it is in natural pharmacies. You should in any way you want, even through a dropper, even through the rectum to receive water in the form of saline, this can relieve a headache. A bunch of calories are in the different colas, but most likely it will irritate your stomach. I would probably, in that case, would not eat anything at all for several days, then I would eat toast, boiled egg and rice with the form of liquid soup. Sending hugs.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I don't have any useful suggestions, but I can surely sympathise. I don't eat enough cus for me it doesn't come out the other end without tons of laxatives. That and polyuria has me almost housebound with little sleep. So I get not being able to exercise too. I'd love to go for a walk but gotta stay near the loo.
Sorry your doc is Shit, I get exactly the same with mine. They've already made up their mind before you've sat down whatever you come to them with. Can't wait to get you out the door. Next!

*rolls up sleeves* someone hold my BPD a sec.

Hahaha that made me laugh.

 

[k75]

Friday, I have a proper appointment with my GI doctor. I also have one with another doctor about my back. I'm really hoping someone will listen to me, because I'm at a 9 or 10, painwise.

I'm not sure why nobody is taking this seriously. To me, not being able to eat and being in excruciating pain is kind of a big deal, but nobody bats an eye. I'm not used to being dismissed like this.

I did a lot of hard work to pull myself out of a very self destructive depression, and it makes me angry to be shoved back there with this. Right now, I just want to die.