lifecouldbedream
Student
- Oct 8, 2021
- 143
I am currently planning on a simple and possibly painful method. I haven't been able to get partial hanging to work and I can buy a gun but I'm honestly afraid to go into the store and I don't know anymore I don't want to deal with the process of buying materials to set up a complex suicide because I'm just so tired. I actually was having thoughts about pouring gasoline on myself and lighting myself on fire earlier because I really just can't take it anymore I want it to be over with I don't know why I feel so bad my life really isn't that difficult but I feel like I need to just end it all I can't take it anymore
I've devised a simple method, and i think its honestly foolproof as long as all of these steps are executed in the right order.
1. Take a large amount of DXM for an anesthetic effect
2. Tape multiple plastic bags around head (to making tearing/biting through the bag more difficult)
3. Tape/tie hands together and possible tie a body part to a heavy piece of furniture to make escape impossible
In theory the DXM would make this process much more peaceful. I'm aware that an exit bag would be much better but I really just don't want to deal with the process of setting it up. I want to go today. I can't do it anymore
I'm very very certain I have some form of ADHD, but have no diagnosis. My attention span is so bad that there are often days where I literally can't even focus on things that I like. If I try to play a video game or watch a show I'll end up pausing it and doing something else about 20 different times. I can't enjoy ANYTHING and I made the stupid decision of going to college while working a full time job and I completely underestimated how much of a struggle it would be for me to keep up. I have so many goals I want to pursue in life but I just. Can't. Focus. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't do it anymore somebody please help me
I don't really want to die but I'm so afraid of telling anyone about this and I feel like nobody really cares. I struggle to make friends because I'm so quiet and struggle to talk and I feel like nothing I have to say really matters
I feel like I've lost so much I used to have so much more intelligence and creativity and its all just been sucked away from me. My mental state has been getting worse. Right now I'm living in a motel and the isolation I feel like is going to kill me.
Every day I wake up either feeling like I'm actively going to kill myself or I feel like its maybe not that bad and I can stick to my goals like exercise/meditation/studying for a day or two before my focus dissolves again and it all just becomes a manic nightmare I just really don't want to do this anymore.
IF I wanted to live, what are my options? can I go to an emergency clinic or something? I need actual mental help at this point or I'm either going to really die or Im going to just keep suffering every day. Its so painful being like this. Everytime I have ANY moment of happiness with another person I can't stop thinking about how that person is going to feel when I'm gone. Literally every time. Its like Im being stabbed repeatedly in the heart and I just have this feeling of complete emptiness. Everytime someone is nice to me or gives me something I feel guilty because I know Ill make them sad.
The only thing delaying me from my plan right now is that Im literally afraid to leave my room and go buy the materials. This isnt a fear of suicide btw Im literally afraid to go out at all and Im running out of food/supplies because Ive been afraid to go outside. Please somebody respond to me
should I call 911 and get myself committed?
I've devised a simple method, and i think its honestly foolproof as long as all of these steps are executed in the right order.
1. Take a large amount of DXM for an anesthetic effect
2. Tape multiple plastic bags around head (to making tearing/biting through the bag more difficult)
3. Tape/tie hands together and possible tie a body part to a heavy piece of furniture to make escape impossible
In theory the DXM would make this process much more peaceful. I'm aware that an exit bag would be much better but I really just don't want to deal with the process of setting it up. I want to go today. I can't do it anymore
I'm very very certain I have some form of ADHD, but have no diagnosis. My attention span is so bad that there are often days where I literally can't even focus on things that I like. If I try to play a video game or watch a show I'll end up pausing it and doing something else about 20 different times. I can't enjoy ANYTHING and I made the stupid decision of going to college while working a full time job and I completely underestimated how much of a struggle it would be for me to keep up. I have so many goals I want to pursue in life but I just. Can't. Focus. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't do it anymore somebody please help me
I don't really want to die but I'm so afraid of telling anyone about this and I feel like nobody really cares. I struggle to make friends because I'm so quiet and struggle to talk and I feel like nothing I have to say really matters
I feel like I've lost so much I used to have so much more intelligence and creativity and its all just been sucked away from me. My mental state has been getting worse. Right now I'm living in a motel and the isolation I feel like is going to kill me.
Every day I wake up either feeling like I'm actively going to kill myself or I feel like its maybe not that bad and I can stick to my goals like exercise/meditation/studying for a day or two before my focus dissolves again and it all just becomes a manic nightmare I just really don't want to do this anymore.
IF I wanted to live, what are my options? can I go to an emergency clinic or something? I need actual mental help at this point or I'm either going to really die or Im going to just keep suffering every day. Its so painful being like this. Everytime I have ANY moment of happiness with another person I can't stop thinking about how that person is going to feel when I'm gone. Literally every time. Its like Im being stabbed repeatedly in the heart and I just have this feeling of complete emptiness. Everytime someone is nice to me or gives me something I feel guilty because I know Ill make them sad.
The only thing delaying me from my plan right now is that Im literally afraid to leave my room and go buy the materials. This isnt a fear of suicide btw Im literally afraid to go out at all and Im running out of food/supplies because Ive been afraid to go outside. Please somebody respond to me
should I call 911 and get myself committed?
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