Help I need community in my final months

[blueberrypie]

I made an account on this site yesterday to find people that think like me. That can think about suicide as an escape and relief in a clinical way instead of something terrible and to be frowned upon. Cbt nowadays seems like one of the only ways to find true freedom and control of myself, but I don't have anyone to discuss this subject with in an objective matter. All my life I've been alone, even before my parents disowned me a couple years ago, and I was bullied during my entire schooling. If I'm being honest I don't wish to find friends on this site, I will probably cbt in a couple months anyway, but in my final months of life I wish to discuss freely and live the way I always was supposed to. People will never fully understand what I think and, in ways, I find comfort in that, that my thoughts and feelings are MINE and no one else's. If anyone relates to this, please write about your experiences, I really feel the absolute NEED to relate to something or someone.

Secondly, the thing I really need help about, I've been weighing different methods since before discovering this amazing site and my method of choice was previously CO poisoning, but since reading here I have heard it's not very effective and about SN. I have read lots and lots of information and CO poisoning would be easier to achieve since I have better recourses for that and SN would be kind of hard to acquire where I live. Now I need judgement, take the easy way out (CO poisoning) or something that's harder to do (SN)? Is SN really that much better?

Edit: If anything sounds weird it's because english isn't my first language T-T, but I think it's understandable what I'm trying to say (I hope).

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I see death as a relief as well, in fact it'd be the only relief for me in an existence I never would have chose and would never wished for, I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[Unspoken7612]

For a second there I thought you meant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I'm so sorry to hear about what a tough life you have had. I hope you can find some sense of community here and gain some comfort from that.

While this site is somewhere you can discuss suicide without it being taboo, we're generally not able to answer questions like "which method should I choose?" - that's something you need to weigh up for yourself.

 

[blueberrypie]

Personally I see death as a relief as well, in fact it'd be the only relief for me in an existence I never would have chose and would never wished for, I truly was never meant to suffer in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

No one really ever deserves suffering, no matter what they've been through and what they've done, I appreciate the companionship in these lonely times. I wish for our freedom and relief.

For a second there I thought you meant Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

I'm so sorry to hear about what a tough life you have had. I hope you can find some sense of community here and gain some comfort from that.

While this site is somewhere you can discuss suicide without it being taboo, we're generally not able to answer questions like "which method should I choose?" - that's something you need to weigh up for yourself.

Haha, no, although I have tried that too. Thank you for your kind words. Should I remove the part where I discuss methods? I did not see it as breaking the rules, but perhaps I've misunderstood.

 

[TAW122]

Yes, having a community especially SaSu can bring some relief and calm especially when there are people who won't judge, question, or otherwise try to interfere with your decision. As SaSu is a pro-choice community, at the least the general atmosphere is being a listening ear, only offering advice when asked (methods or such), and/or just a place to vent and feel validated.