It's not my time. My family knows about my ctb intentions and they don't leave me alone at home. I'm constantly watched. I guess I have to wait more time till "I get better". I can't take this shit anymore but I must be strong. There's no other way. Not now. I have to be patient. It sucks...
SHThrowAway213
That's the hell I live with
- Apr 19, 2018
- 658
Jean4
Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
- Apr 28, 2019
- 7,557
You are stronger than you think. You family is very lucky to have you. 
Lostandfound7
Just waiting....
- Jan 21, 2020
- 995
I don't blame them..as low as I feel, if I knew a fam member had intentions on hurting themself,I would do all that I could to prevent losing them..how ironic?..lol..Ur patience will b worth it..
I can't do it now. It's not the right time. I must wait months or maybe a year... Recently my mom asked me if she could leave me alone... I feel like a 5 year old kid. Wish I were dead. Fuck my life
BlueWidow
Visionary
- Oct 6, 2019
- 2,179
I'm so sorry you're in that situation. It is very annoying and frustrating when they suddenly start treating you like a little kid again when they find out you want to ctb, like that's going to help you or something. Hugs.
Doesn't help me.makes me feel worse. Ahe made me promise her I wouldn't do any "stupid thing"
Carina
Angelic
- Dec 22, 2019
- 4,005
I'm sorry. They so badly want you to be around no matter what, and you want to leave. Just trying to think like them, I can see why they'd be afraid, they know you'll find a way. It's horrible that you're basically under guard every moment of your life now, but it will pass. Not as quickly as you want I'm sure, but it will. I personally find people who want to ctb to be the strongest people around--even if it doesn't feel that way.
But soon, in the grand scheme of things, you'll be trusted again, and you'll be able to do whatever you want again.
Quarky00
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2019
- 1,956
timey-dusty , this is wrenching
What can I say, at least not locked in hospital (yeah such a big comfort...)
Know it's distressing, try to ignore and nod, take your time, their 'nagging' will pass .
What can I say, at least not locked in hospital (yeah such a big comfort...)
Know it's distressing, try to ignore and nod, take your time, their 'nagging' will pass .
I'm so fucking tired of all this. I could have ended my life 2 weeks ago. I had enough time to do the fasting, drink the SN and be found dead. More than 12 hours alone. But didn't do it. Then SN found, sent to psychiatrist . All became worse... This is a nightmare
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I am going through the same situation as you, you are not alone. I am never alone at the house no more because they're scared I would do something. My mom keeps buying me food/ things that I like. She's trying her best to keep me happy, I understand that. It's overbearing sometimes since I just want to be left alone.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,819
I'm sorry to hear the predicament that you are in right now. Like what others said, it's probably better to lay low and play along until you get your chance in the future. The first order of business would be to eventually get your family to be less strict and more trusting so that way you have more freedom and space to yourself. Then after that you can decide on what to do from that point onwards.
Nem
Drs suck mega ass!
- Sep 3, 2018
- 1,489
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar situation, I live with a friend and they keep a fairly close eye on me and I'm not doing well at all
Peace/hugs
Peace/hugs
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