Help I might breakup with my gf soon.

[UnwillingSavior]

I don't want to dive into the whole "he said/she said" kind of discussion because I recognize my various plentiful faults. But, for too long I've dealt with my gf's faults and I can't change what faults I have of my own. Neither of us can take it anymore.

Long story short, I don't think we have very long together and 5 years of a relationship will be gone. How do I prepare for this? She felt like the best match possible for me and if even the best won't work for me then I don't know what to do anymore. I want to share my life with someone else, I don't want to be alone. I'm scared, I don't want to feel isolated again. I gave up two of my best friendships to spend more time with her, so I truly have no one but my family, who will only care for the drama and to try and preach to me their beliefs (which I ought to believe cause "they've been there, done that!").

If you've suffered similarly, what did you do? I'm thankful for any replies.

 

[stagnatedhostage]

I'm not sure if this really counts but I used to have a childhood friend whom I considered my soulmate. We knew each other ever since we were born and I gave up all other friendships just to be best friends with her (and because she didn't like other people, I ended up with no other friends even though she had lots). I recognized at the time that she was being controlling but at the same time, I couldn't let go of her because I knew I had nothing left. And if I were to stop being friends with her, my mom would kill me (since our moms were also very close).

When I read your post, I related to it so much that I couldn't resist replying. My advice: push yourself out there and try your best to meet other people (I have my current friends now by talking to random strangers off the streets haha). And if you can, try and salvage your friendships before it's too late.

I wish you the best of luck in seeking happiness, stay strong!!

 

[UnwillingSavior]

When I read your post, I related to it so much that I couldn't resist replying. My advice: push yourself out there and try your best to meet other people

Thank you a whole lot for sharing your advice on top of your story. It means a lot to me.

I wish you the best of luck in seeking happiness, stay strong!!

Likewise, I appreciate your hospitality and I wish you the best as well! :)

 

[PaperGodzilla]

I left my gf after five years in a relationship with her, and we were bestfriends before that. It was a difficult situation to live and we didn't talk to eachother for months after the breakup, but i can tell you I regret nothing and we are both happier + we managed to stay friends after that

 

[UnwillingSavior]

I left my gf after five years in a relationship with her, and we were bestfriends before that. It was a difficult situation to live and we didn't talk to eachother for months after the breakup, but i can tell you I regret nothing and we are both happier + we managed to stay friends after that

You're a real lucky guy, I'm glad it worked out that way for you (but of course, I'm sorry it had to end romantically). Thanks for reminding me of the possibility of still having her in my life, even if it might hurt to see her with someone else.

 

[dr.feelbad]

Sorry to hear that but if you realize your faults and you are still loving this person you need to speak up! I am in a similar situation with the difference that my wife already quit our couple already. And afterwards I realized all my faults and what I did wrong to her. You are aware of the problem so try to have an open conversation and speak up because if you don't you ultimately loose your relationship. Remember that a healthy relationship is hard work and needs compromises on both sides. Be aware of what you want and, don't get guided by anger or defiance. This is just my personel experience and I hope it inspires you. Good luck

 

[GlutenFreeCat]

I don't want to dive into the whole "he said/she said" kind of discussion because I recognize my various plentiful faults. But, for too long I've dealt with my gf's faults and I can't change what faults I have of my own. Neither of us can take it anymore.

Long story short, I don't think we have very long together and 5 years of a relationship will be gone. How do I prepare for this? She felt like the best match possible for me and if even the best won't work for me then I don't know what to do anymore. I want to share my life with someone else, I don't want to be alone. I'm scared, I don't want to feel isolated again. I gave up two of my best friendships to spend more time with her, so I truly have no one but my family, who will only care for the drama and to try and preach to me their beliefs (which I ought to believe cause "they've been there, done that!").

If you've suffered similarly, what did you do? I'm thankful for any replies.

Currently going through almost the same exact situation. Can't offer much advice but just know you aren't alone.

 

[UnwillingSavior]

Sorry to hear that but if you realize your faults and you are still loving this person you need to speak up! I am in a similar situation with the difference that my wife already quit our couple already. And afterwards I realized all my faults and what I did wrong to her. You are aware of the problem so try to have an open conversation and speak up because if you don't you ultimately loose your relationship. Remember that a healthy relationship is hard work and needs compromises on both sides. Be aware of what you want and, don't get guided by anger or defiance. This is just my personel experience and I hope it inspires you. Good luck

Your words remind me of what I don't want to hear but ultimately need to hear. Even if I recognize that though, I don't want to accept that; I just wish she could understand that I love her and express it everyday, yet it is not reciprocated. I want to fix my issues but it's just so hard to if I'm being shut down in the first place, just like my parents do. I can't argue with anyone (even softly) without breaking down into tears. Regardless, thank you for the advice and I'll try to find a way to get in a conversation with her where I can speak clearly and so can she.

Currently going through almost the same exact situation. Can't offer much advice but just know you aren't alone.

These situations are never easy. It almost feels like you are in a dark, cluttered room and you just have to feel around for your way out. You'll trip and stumble and get hurt. Maybe you'll even get stuck and never find a way out. But, you sort of just have to keep moving, maybe for a different reason than to just fix your relationship, as much as it may hurt to accept that.

Thank you for sympathizing, I hope you and I both can find our way out. Personally, I am still at odds with my gf & vice versa, the future is unclear.

 

[carnivalforone]

sadly im thinking i might be going this same route with my girlfriend of a year and a half;/ she doesnt put any effort in anymore and im really tired of giving my all when it comes to love and not receiving any back. that and a lot of other things but god it hurts so much. shes all i have...

 

[UnwillingSavior]

sadly im thinking i might be going this same route with my girlfriend of a year and a half;/ she doesnt put any effort in anymore and im really tired of giving my all when it comes to love and not receiving any back. that and a lot of other things but god it hurts so much. shes all i have...

I feel for you deeply, I'm sorry that your relationship is heading the same route as mine. Personally, I've been very lax with my gf and have let her have the benefit of the doubt most of the time, but lately I've been putting my foot down and holding my ground (respectfully as possible). It results in a gridlock with us but I think she's beginning to understand my issues/demands more. Perhaps I've been a complicated mess with her, albeit I've never felt comfortable speaking my opposing opinions to her till now anyways.

I apologize for my rant, I hope whatever happens to you will turn out to be the best outcome for you, but I also know whatever happens will be painful. Godspeed.