I love my parents but I think they will understand

[autisticalex]

I love my parents and they love me unconditionally, they weren't perfect parents growing up but no parents are. And we didn't always have the best relationship together, but they were the only ones who spent my birthdays with me.

It's unlucky they got a child with special needs, I feel like they were always disappointed seeing other children achieve stuff in life and me not being able to.

I feel like they will understand my suicide and not let it phase them too much, I think they really will accept I've found peace and ended my suffering.

In an ideal world I would have been born without disabilities and we could have had a great relationship and they would be proud of me. This isn't an ideal world

 

[WornOutLife]

I wish my parents understood my suicide too but I don't think they ever will.
It will be just too much to bear for them.
My dad is one of the reasons why I haven't ctb yet.

You seem to have nice parents! Good for you!
Anyway, wish you the best.

 

[ClairyFairy]

You're parents will never understand and they'll spend their lives wondering if anything they could have done differently that would result in you being alive. They will never get over losing you x

 

[iwanttodie000]

I have struggled my whole life with this as my parents have been one of my only reasons I havent ctb years and years ago. I don't want to hurt them as I've had a great relationship with them and they've given me a good life basically. I know they will be hurt and I know they won't understand. I have been trying to prepare them in my own subtle way for years, especially as of late without coming out and saying it as if I did, they would try and stop me or get authorities involved probably. I plan on a long suicide note explaining to them that this doesn't have anything to do with them and also explain in detail the reason I did it so that hopefully they can take some peace in that knowing it wasn't about them and wasn't anything they can do. All I can hope is they understand and while it may be difficult, I hope they will be happy I hopefully found my peace.

 

[autisticalex]

I had a really good friend but I really hurt her by going crazy and sending her abusive messages. It really is no one's fault but my own. Although I have been begining to think that maybe she doesn't care that much and just used it as an excuse to not talk to me anymore because I'm ugly.

I don't want to hurt her either because if she didn't talk to me because I'm ugly then it's not her fault.

And if I did hurt her then it is a terrible thing but I'm sorry I wasn't thinking properly

I love her so much. I want to live with her and marry her but I gotta have autism and be ugly no girl will ever love me
Really hope she doesn't care about me

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I love my parents and they love me unconditionally, they weren't perfect parents growing up but no parents are. And we didn't always have the best relationship together, but they were the only ones who spent my birthdays with me.

It's unlucky they got a child with special needs, I feel like they were always disappointed seeing other children achieve stuff in life and me not being able to.

I feel like they will understand my suicide and not let it phase them too much, I think they really will accept I've found peace and ended my suffering.

In an ideal world I would have been born without disabilities and we could have had a great relationship and they would be proud of me. This isn't an ideal world

I had a really good friend but I really hurt her by going crazy and sending her abusive messages. It really is no one's fault but my own. Although I have been begining to think that maybe she doesn't care that much and just used it as an excuse to not talk to me anymore because I'm ugly.

I don't want to hurt her either because if she didn't talk to me because I'm ugly then it's not her fault.

And if I did hurt her then it is a terrible thing but I'm sorry I wasn't thinking properly

I love her so much. I want to live with her and marry her but I gotta have autism and be ugly no girl will ever love me
Really hope she doesn't care about me

I can really relate to all of this even if the causes are not the same. I've made the same posts about not comparing yourself to others several times but in short it just doesn't make sense. If your life is full of suffering, at least don't add that on top of it if you can. Idk, I can't really help you or myself, loneliness of this kind is probably one of the hardest things to solve.