I love life and i cant do this shit anymore

[deranged]

I love life and i love the concept of living, the human body, nature, experiences, finding yourself and exploring life, just not my own. I wish so badly to appreciate my life and get up and find joy in it but it seems so unreal and impossible, i hate everything about myself deep down to my core and i hate my life and hate living it.

I wish i was religious and believed in an afterlife or a second chance but i dont and i will die knowing i wasted my only life.
im so jealous of careless people who are able to just sit back and take it all in effortlessly. i dont think i will ever find true happiness or ever be at peace if i choose to live and it hurts so much to think about.

i have been trying really hard to improve my life for the past 2 years but it always backfires and i dont know how long i can stay motivated for because i feel like it has gotten me absolutely nowhere and as im slowly putting myself more out there im realizing how much i hate it and how tired and devastated i feel.

 

[CantDoIt]

God I feel this so much. I would do anything to start over or be a different person. I can't believe how badly I messed up literally everything in my life. Name one thing and I probably messed it up. I'm sorry that your going though this.

 

[turnoverover]

i feel the same way im not really sure how to shake off the suicidality

 

[Lost Magic]

One thing you could try is to lower expectations. Life very rarely lives up to what people expect from it.

 

[SteamaHorns]

Feel the same way myself. I used to feel horribly ashamed whenever I saw my loved ones growing and moving onto better things in their lives while I was always being stagnant, despite being the person who held the more hopeful and idealistic beliefs.

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

I love life and i love the concept of living, the human body, nature, experiences, finding yourself and exploring life, just not my own. I wish so badly to appreciate my life and get up and find joy in it but it seems so unreal and impossible, i hate everything about myself deep down to my core and i hate my life and hate living it.

I wish i was religious and believed in an afterlife or a second chance but i dont and i will die knowing i wasted my only life.
im so jealous of careless people who are able to just sit back and take it all in effortlessly. i dont think i will ever find true happiness or ever be at peace if i choose to live and it hurts so much to think about.

i have been trying really hard to improve my life for the past 2 years but it always backfires and i dont know how long i can stay motivated for because i feel like it has gotten me absolutely nowhere and as im slowly putting myself more out there im realizing how much i hate it and how tired and devastated i feel.

I feel this so so bad. I feel like I've fucked up too bad to live anymore.