I checked it with 3 different sources it is impossible that I triggered the woman who committed suicide. She committed suicide 1,5 hours before I spoke the triggering words. I realized this today 11 a.m. checking facts.
I looked deep into the eyes of the highest doctor. I think the suicide of that woman hit him hard. He looked tired. I told him I felt extremely guilty for her suicide but it was caused by paranoia and not real. And wonder whether he might related to the guilt. He was such a nice and friendly guy. It is the second suicide in this clinic this year. It must be hard. I think being responsible of such a clinic can suck. I think he liked me.
She had a a teenager autistic child. He told many here in this room will have a guilty conscience me included when he announced it. But it was her decision. Most nurses were obese. I think it is their way of coping.
I left the clnic and I feel so much better. On Monday I will see a new psychologist or the first time. I hope the chemistry fits. I am scared going back to dating because it made me suicidal. The concept of this clinic is total crap. We were all triggering each other. A woman denied drinking. My roommate tried to kill himself by cutting his wrist. A woman jumped in front of a train. Well after this clinic stay I am lowkey traumatized about suicide. And the people there. I think some must have had brain damage or way too many ECTs. They said they helped their agitation but personally I would be scared about the cognitive decline. I wonder whether some of them might have fucked up partial. I could imagine that.
It was such a scary experience.
I looked deep into the eyes of the highest doctor. I think the suicide of that woman hit him hard. He looked tired. I told him I felt extremely guilty for her suicide but it was caused by paranoia and not real. And wonder whether he might related to the guilt. He was such a nice and friendly guy. It is the second suicide in this clinic this year. It must be hard. I think being responsible of such a clinic can suck. I think he liked me.
She had a a teenager autistic child. He told many here in this room will have a guilty conscience me included when he announced it. But it was her decision. Most nurses were obese. I think it is their way of coping.
I left the clnic and I feel so much better. On Monday I will see a new psychologist or the first time. I hope the chemistry fits. I am scared going back to dating because it made me suicidal. The concept of this clinic is total crap. We were all triggering each other. A woman denied drinking. My roommate tried to kill himself by cutting his wrist. A woman jumped in front of a train. Well after this clinic stay I am lowkey traumatized about suicide. And the people there. I think some must have had brain damage or way too many ECTs. They said they helped their agitation but personally I would be scared about the cognitive decline. I wonder whether some of them might have fucked up partial. I could imagine that.
It was such a scary experience.
Last edited:
