sylveowl
New Member
- Apr 11, 2018
- 1
this happened back in december, a couple weeks after our one year anniversary. i loved him so dearly, everything i did i did for him. all i ever wanted was to make him happy. i guess i just wasnt enough for him though, i dont know why i thought i would be, as i never am. maybe it was because he told me he was my guardian angel, sent to keep me safe. im mentally ill, so i blame that for why i believed him. angels dont leave you because you dont want them sleep with other people though. i just feel so empty since the break up. i thought i was over it, i started a new relationship (with his ex best friend actually) and i do enjoy our time together. its just not the same. itll never be the same. i could talk with him about absolutely anything and there was never any judgement, he helped me when i was delusional or psychotic or just depressed. he was always there for me, and now that hes not anymore i just feel like life isnt worth living. im trying so hard to survive for the sake of my parents, they do love me and are honestly my only friends aside from my boyfriend. i know itd devastate them if i ctb, my dad might even follow me. but when i know ill never find love like i had with him ever again things just seem so bleak. sorry for even posting, im just wasting everyones time. im not even worthy of the air i breathe