I know that this will be my last christmas, anyone else feels the same?

[mathieu]

I really hope it is my last.

 

[Quinlor]

I would like...

 

[reto]

Yes, and it's weird knowing that no on else knows

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Only one more to go 2020, then summer 2021 I'm done

I am so ready to go however I know I must be responsible and pay off all financial responsibilities.

 

[Busridin'26]

Yes it does feel like my last i am sooo happy for that tbh. Im really hoping that this is the last winter I experience.

 

[Jean4]

I am worried about making it through today.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

So do I. I just have a really strange feeling about 2020 in general, like it's a fake, it's just not gonna be there. This whole Christmas day felt very eerie to me.

 

[Tearygirl]

I feel the same. I won't be alive for the next christmas.
I hate christmas, but merry christmas, everyone.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

If things keep going the way they are it's is very likely this will be my last Christmas.

 

[Enshadowed]

Yeah, I had that exact feeling today. Went and spend time with the family and put up a good front figuring this would be the last one and I didn't want to ruin it. Somehow feeling it would be the last one made it a little more bearable.

 

[Green bike dude]

i never felt conection with my family, so... christmas always look meaningless, but i'm sure thats will be my last one

 

[Hotsackage]

I hope so

 

[Read123456788]

100% my last too. Its actually helped me through it though as I've thrown myself into it knowing it's my last.

 

[a.h]

I'm extremely sad. I'll miss everything about my family, Christmas is the most beautiful and joyous time of the year. It became clear that I needed to CTB when I couldn't enjoy the holiday season this year.
[/QUOTE

I love Christmas and my family and friends totally. But I will not miss them in afterlife. After my accident and asphyxiation as a child/teen I wanted to die near the end. I felt so peaceful and good, thousand times better than I ever had felt even I was happy every day then. I didn't miss anything in this world or wanted to stay in it. I somehow knew (like remembered) I was going home. Then I had wonderful nde and felt million times better than possible in this world and remembered I was going home and thought this life wasn't even real.

So even I love many things now in this earthly life I am sure I won't miss them at all when I am gone whether there is afterlife or not.
If there would be no afterlife then I wish there was a way to make brains release that complete, overpowering happiness and serenity in normal life and not just when near death and after flat lining. That could make this world a better place.

 

[Read123456788]

i never felt conection with my family, so... christmas always look meaningless, but i'm sure thats will be my last one

I'll second that! No one gets one most the yer but for one day we all love each other ... I'd rather not

 

[LMLN]

Oh dear I hope so. I hope so.

 

[mychoicetoliveordie]

Possibly the last, can't say for sure. No firm plans or date set.

BUT, it feels like I'm edging closer to an inevitable decision. Recently, I've been feeling OK. Not perfect but managing. It's always in my mind though, just to the side or in the background. Also, it takes effort to keep feeling OK , and that effort tires me. I know I will fall down again when I get too tired. I can't live on tranquilisers forever.

You know what it's like when you have to do something? Like when you have an appointment to go to? A chore to do? Well, CBT feels like that for me. I don't have a time but I know it's there, waiting. Something I know I have to do.

hello
im new to this site can i ask what CBT stands for ive seen its reference in most posts but cant work it out dar!

 

[Skyview]

hello
im new to this site can i ask what CBT stands for ive seen its reference in most posts but cant work it out dar!

Catch the bus !

 

[mychoicetoliveordie]

Catch the bus !

ta, i feel like im tumbling around in the dark.

 

[Skyview]

ta, i feel like im tumbling around in the dark.

Take your time , we all tumbled around in the dark at first . Ask questions and the Resource guide is really helpful .
Once you have 5 posts and active 24 hrs you can send PM's . Good way to increase your posts is to go to "Off Topic" thread , games threads, music etc , and welcome to the forum