I know I am going to kill myself for sure

[anxiousmess0471]

I don't know if anyone else can relate. But, right now I don't have the means to kill myself because I know how much it would hurt my mom so I'm waiting to move out so that I can do it. I've spoken to people who keep telling me that things will get better but I just have this strong feeling that it won't. That's why I feel like even if I don't kill myself now, I will end up doing it later on in my life. I just have this strong feeling that I am going to die at my own hands. Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[Moniker]

Yeah, I've got a nearly identical situation on my end. I'm not actively planning on killing myself anytime soon, but there's this feeling looming over me that suicide is gonna be how I go. Currently, the plan for me is to wait a few years and see if my perspective on life is any different. If it isn't, I live in an area where I could buy a gun and get things over with pretty easily.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah I feel like I'm meant to die young and by ctb. I think it's my fate/destiny

 

[notori]

I totally get it. My mom lost her mom to suicide and it pains me to think of how she would feel loosing her child to it as well. She found me after an attempt several years ago and her screams still echo in my head. I've moved out of my parents house several hours away now so that fear of my mom finding me has kind of gone away and I definitely feel like I'm going to be able to CTB successfully soon. I almost succeeded a few weeks ago and I'm starting to come to terms that my time is soon.

 

[divinemistress87]

Yeah I feel like I'm meant to die young and by ctb. I think it's my fate/destiny

Same