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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,844
In my bipolar self-aid group some cannot work. (including myself) I have to ctb when poverty arrives I don't wanna endure that agony. There is one woman I kind of envy her. She has the same working issues as me. But she has a boyfriend who gives her a lot of money. Even the parents of her partner help her with a lot of stuff. She has to do almost nothing. This could absolutely save me if I was her. Working makes me terribly depressed and I get always fired.
We talked about welfare and she said she could never live with that low amount of money. I think exactly the same about it but I have to ctb due to that fact. Someone in the group admitted he has a little bit of suicidal thoughts due to bipolar. And she was like: Wow that's heavy. Unbelievable.
And I am thinking daily for hours about suicide since years. If she knew about that. Lmao.
I just wonder what would happen if she had no partner. Would she still deny suicidality when she had to live in poverty? Probably yes
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
speaking from my personal opinion, being a 'burden' isnt a blessing and can cause feelings of uselessness. there are days i go without eating because of it and it also makes me want to ctb because im not 'good enough'. my husband tries to help and it just makes me feel worse.
 
N

noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,844
speaking from my personal opinion, being a 'burden' isnt a blessing and can cause feelings of uselessness. there are days i go without eating because of it and it also makes me want to ctb because im not 'good enough'. my husband tries to help and it just makes me feel worse.
You have kind of a point. I don't think it is what she thinks but might be. However I think it is still better as no help at all. At least I would take the help instead of ctb.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
You have kind of a point. I don't think it is what she thinks but might be. However I think it is still better as no help at all. At least I would take the help instead of ctb.
from the way you talked about it she didnt seem to feel that way. and the help is nice, its just also nice to not need help ya know? i do appreciate my husband for it, i just wish i wasnt a problem
 
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