Misanthrope0000
Misanthrope
- Sep 8, 2024
- 101
As the title said, I wasn't planning to die at that moment, but I was near death, it all started when me and my friend bought vodka to have fun and forget about our shitty life, I've ate nothing on that day except for some fruits, then filled my stomach with half a little of vodka and Monster energy drinks.
I wasn't planning to overdrink, but as I got drunk and drunk I kept drinking more unintentionally, at first we had fun, I recorded, until everything was getting more blurry and the last memory I remember before collapsing unconscious was me crying and venting about my life.
Then I wake up with extreme headache and couldn't even walk, my mom was there, my friend was there, they kept trying to get me to stand up to bring me home.
When I went home and looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself, hair messy, I was stinky, puke all over my hair, and kept throwing up.
I asked my mom and friend what happened tomorrow.
My mom was called the moment I collapsed because my friend was scared, I was unconscious for 4 hours, my temperature was 34C, my lips were blue, my skin was very pale, I wasn't responding to anything, in that condition my mom and my friend were forcing me to throw up and forcing bitter black coffee in my mouth to throw up even more and to reduce the alcohol, and I'm suspecting that's what made me survive (or at least gain back consciousness earlier)
But I felt no pain, all of this was told to me.
But I can't help but resent them, why wasn't I left to die if I was actually near death, why did they have to save me?
I genuinely felt no pain when everything happened, I only felt strong headache after waking up, I could've had a painless death, I wouldn't continue suffering in this life if I actually died there.
I wasn't planning to overdrink, but as I got drunk and drunk I kept drinking more unintentionally, at first we had fun, I recorded, until everything was getting more blurry and the last memory I remember before collapsing unconscious was me crying and venting about my life.
Then I wake up with extreme headache and couldn't even walk, my mom was there, my friend was there, they kept trying to get me to stand up to bring me home.
When I went home and looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself, hair messy, I was stinky, puke all over my hair, and kept throwing up.
I asked my mom and friend what happened tomorrow.
My mom was called the moment I collapsed because my friend was scared, I was unconscious for 4 hours, my temperature was 34C, my lips were blue, my skin was very pale, I wasn't responding to anything, in that condition my mom and my friend were forcing me to throw up and forcing bitter black coffee in my mouth to throw up even more and to reduce the alcohol, and I'm suspecting that's what made me survive (or at least gain back consciousness earlier)
But I felt no pain, all of this was told to me.
But I can't help but resent them, why wasn't I left to die if I was actually near death, why did they have to save me?
I genuinely felt no pain when everything happened, I only felt strong headache after waking up, I could've had a painless death, I wouldn't continue suffering in this life if I actually died there.
