Venting I keep messing up and don't know how to fix it

[abcz]

I am part of many online communities and I love so many people from on there. But lately I've been playing a game with them and I keep messing up. I miss another person's name and pronouns too much. I believe in negative reinforcement. I don't know how to punish oneself. Usually the method to feel better about something is to keep doing it but I am losing motivation to play the game because of how i feel afterwards. I feel like I am bothering all of them. And then I just end up depressed and trying to help my friends and give them things. Because that makes me feel important and like I matter.

idk.