Venting I just want to die

[FloatingJellyfish]

Life never made me happy.
I hate every day.
I hate living.
I'm not made for this world.
For this order, rules, society and co-existing.

I just never feel happy.
Every wish I had has no meaning to me anymore.
Every activity sucks.
I don't feel comfortable anywhere.
And I just wish the only ppl that I actually care about would in times like these give me confort and make me feel loved.
But I don't feel anything but regret when i talk to them.

I want to die
Nowhere is home for me
Nowhere I'm happy
I just feel anxious and afraid all the time

 

[TDF]

Thank you @FloatingJellyfish for sharing this , I really feel your pain through this poem. I'm sorry for all that you have suffered. I relate, I am also filled with regret when I talk to my loved ones because they don't understand, I also have no where to call home.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand hating existing and just wishing for permanent peace from everything. I'm also not meant to exist in this cruel, dreadful world.

 

[mb0099]

What you wrote sounds exactly how I feel but have been struggling to write things out. I'm sorry you're in so much pain and suffering too. I can't wrap my head around how so many people can be happy (yes, everyone has problems in life and experience difficult times) yet others like us are in such never-ending pain and fear.

 

[FloatingJellyfish]

Yes it's bizarre, every time I hear people actually saying they are happy or that they have a good life, I keep wondering if they are just lying or if someone can actually feel happiness

 

[Unattainable666]

You said exactly how I feel, thank you.