Venting I just want to cry

[kvorumese]

Do you not?
I want to let out my tears and free all the bottled emotions, there's a lot to unpack. I physically am unable to though
I've wanted to cry for maybe 2-3 years now and it just can't happen. The tears do not come out
What else do I fucking do? When I'm around people, I am but a jester and comfort provider. I don't think that ANYBODY is even approximately aware of what I'm experiencing or feeling, not even my closest friends whom I'd take a bullet for
Because neither do I. I have no idea what emotions of mine are real and what I just demonstrate to others
I've tried to understand myself multiple times and I've failed. I do not know who I really am anymore. My public persona and actual identity have been mixed up way too thoroughly
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate

 

[whitetaildeer]

relate heavily to this. i seldom cry; the tears burn and it hurts my stomach. so, because it's both discomforting and it's mortifying in front of other people, i started training myself to not cry, ever. not even by myself, because it feels just that much embarrassing. now? i can't cry, even if i don't want to. my stomach will twist itself into knots, i'll start hiccupping and shaking, but i just won't cry. best i'll get is maybe 2-4 tears and some misery.

sorry your friends don't seem to understand what you're going through. you deserve much better kvoru

 

[kvorumese]

relate heavily to this. i seldom cry; the tears burn and it hurts my stomach. so, because it's both discomforting and it's mortifying in front of other people, i started training myself to not cry, ever. not even by myself, because it feels just that much embarrassing. now? i can't cry, even if i don't want to. my stomach will twist itself into knots, i'll start hiccupping and shaking, but i just won't cry. best i'll get is maybe 2-4 tears and some misery.

sorry your friends don't seem to understand what you're going through. you deserve much better kvoru

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your kind words

 

[roommate]

I'm also unable to cry.
However, last time I cried is when I saw and heard this part of the movie Up.



Edit: this one it was

 

[sadalways]

I can understand how you feel, i haven't cried in the past 10 years, i'm not even sure if it's because of meds or something but it really sucks. If i feel really sad all that happens is i get a headache. I'm a "funny person" too when it comes to talking with people that aren't aware of how i feel because i've been kicked out of friend groups before for expressing my actual feelings, so i stopped doing that. I really wish you the best, i'm bad at advice or anything like that, but nobody deserves to feel this way.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

As the user above pointed out, it could be a side effect of meds. I haven't been able to cry in a year and a half. But this time I don't feel like I want to. Although I did have a really totally random crying fit a few weeks ago. I think I just had horrible PMS lol.And I show no emotion either which is really freaky and makes me feel bad. I feel it inside, but can't seem to show it on the outside
I would chalk it up to Meds but I went through a similar phase 2 years ago before I took any meds, where I wanted to cry so badly, but couldn't let it out like you.
I'm not sure which is worse honestly. I think it depends on the situation. Wanting to and not being able to cry was an absolutely horrible feeling.
My current situation would totally make me feel like more of an outcast if I were in a group situation. But most of the time it's just me and my parents and my mother currently has cancer so she'll be crying to me about not feeling well and it sucks not being able to show emotion