DeadD
King Idiot
- Mar 28, 2019
- 46
For me. Not the idea of me. Not what people want out of me. Me. Just me. I want to be held and kissed and feel safe. I want real romantic love but all I get is used. Even my last girlfriend, who was madly in love with me, wanted a version of me the didn't exists and insisted that I just wasn't trying. She was my best friend and now she hates me. The person I most recently fell for just rejected me but asked to keep being intimate because "as a man I don't get any physical contact for months and this is nice"
so essentially, keep using me till he finds someone he actually wants to be with. Which I am so desperate and lonely that I'll let him do it. Because what else am I going to do. Say no? Have self respect? If I had that I probably wouldn't be in this boat.
I deserve this in some fashion probably. Because I'm me and I should be someone else if I wanted to be loved the way I need to be loved.
so essentially, keep using me till he finds someone he actually wants to be with. Which I am so desperate and lonely that I'll let him do it. Because what else am I going to do. Say no? Have self respect? If I had that I probably wouldn't be in this boat.
I deserve this in some fashion probably. Because I'm me and I should be someone else if I wanted to be loved the way I need to be loved.