I JUST WANNA CRY! How much relief do you have when you have a peaceful method available?

[Daisy88_99]

I just wanna cry, but no tears are coming out. Researching a method is so overwhelming and honestly what I would do without this website. Probably would have ended up ending it in a painful way but I had that option for so long and didn't do it. I am just tired. The weight of everything feels enormous and I just need peace and I know at least having peaceful method available would give me that at least. I swear people who are not pro-choice anger me so much, it's like they enjoy watching people suffer. I literally can't comprehend that mindset. Fuck everyone who isn't pro-choice!

I just wanna know. How much relief did you get when you got your peaceful method?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I acquired SN a few years back and, it brought me some peace. Although, I don't feel like I can use it till my Dad goes first so- I do basically still feel trapped here. If anything, it can feel hugely frustrating to know it's there, know I'm ready personally to go. I'm desperate to go to be honest. But, still to feel like I can't yet.

What's more, my SN expired early this year. I suppose it may still be ok but then- my Meto is expired by many years now also. So, it feels like the risk factors just keep increasing, the longer I have to leave it.

Like you though- the anxiety I feel at likely not being able to get more (SN seems much harder to get in the UK now) or the worry over trying to choose and prepare a different method is huge. To feel trapped here almost generates a sense of panic.

 

[nihacc]

I haven't obtained it yet, because I'm still waiting on some conditions that must be met before I can get a firearm, but it's pretty much in the bag. Right now it just feels like I'm running down the days until the inevitable. Not necessarily like a terminal illness, but an urge that is desperately waiting to be satisfied. It is sort of relieving in a way, since I know soon I will no longer be around to internally suffer, and a multitude of other reasons.

I could describe the feeling so far as being in acceptance of my own fate. A faint growing satisfaction.

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

I just wanna cry, but no tears are coming out. Researching a method is so overwhelming and honestly what I would do without this website. Probably would have ended up ending it in a painful way but I had that option for so long and didn't do it. I am just tired. The weight of everything feels enormous and I just need peace and I know at least having peaceful method available would give me that at least. I swear people who are not pro-choice anger me so much, it's like they enjoy watching people suffer. I literally can't comprehend that mindset. Fuck everyone who isn't pro-choice!

I just wanna know. How much relief did you get when you got your peaceful method?

Yes I'm kinda grateful for being able to get my hands on SN and benzos alongside finding this site. I'm having constant physical pain and disabled, so having the option to CTB without it being super painful is kind of relieving for me.

 

[HeyBoogahJr]

I just wanna cry, but no tears are coming out. Researching a method is so overwhelming and honestly what I would do without this website. Probably would have ended up ending it in a painful way but I had that option for so long and didn't do it. I am just tired. The weight of everything feels enormous and I just need peace and I know at least having peaceful method available would give me that at least. I swear people who are not pro-choice anger me so much, it's like they enjoy watching people suffer. I literally can't comprehend that mindset. Fuck everyone who isn't pro-choice!

I just wanna know. How much relief did you get when you got your peaceful method?

I understand that, I'm sorry to hear that your feeling so overwhelmed right now, looking for something like that can be tough, huh? How about coming back when your in a calmer state of mind and try again? That's what I do when I have to do serious things that scare me. Yeah, I don't get that either. People can be cruel and don't try to understand.

I think when it comes, I'll hold it close, I'll feel a sense of emptiness and warmth. "You're finally here. My friend. My home." What do you think you'll feel like?

 

[itsallogrenow]

I felt so happy and peaceful. My tag under my username used to literally be "at peace".

My 10g of Amitriptyline tablets arrived yesterday but I don't have the same sense of peacefulness due to reduced chance of it working and length of time it can take