I just had a realization

[Volatile]

I'm going to be seen as the villain no matter what for catching the bus. I'll be demonized by those who know me for years and years. I'll be the "selfish" one who took the "easy way out" regardless if I write an eloquent, heartfelt note trying to explain the pain I'm in.

This has been one of the main reasons why I've stayed alive. I've tried to find a way to redeem my reputation in the eyes of my family and loved ones despite ctb, and there's just no way.

I have plenty of good reasons to die. Countless mental problems plague me, but that would be dismissed as a valid reason for suicide.

I just had a job interview and my anxiety disorder is so extreme that I come off looking like a tweaker. I'm so tired of the unnecessary struggle of trying to be normal and failing to consistently keep my head above water.

 

[Deleted member 847]

Some user told me here "You can't make them see what they don't want to see". Sometimes you need to think about yourself first. Who else will if you don't?

 

[Lucas]

It's a waste of energy being mad at people who don't understand it. This is just one of those things that people don't get until they're at that point themselves, life is such a personal experience. If I happen to kill myself due health problems and my family doesn't get it, its their loss, not mine. To simply put, suicide is not something you have to justify to anybody.