I just feel so weak and want someone to aknowledge me. (think I'm falling in love with my teacher)

[mierepeashi]

Today in math class I just began feeling so dreadful and just wanted to evaporate from this world and not feel anything anymore. I'm ashamed of how weak my brain and body is, My scapulas are like wings protruding outwards from the lack of back muscles. A doctor told me that there's probably no probably no way to fix by back problems because the growth period has obviously ended and the spine will pretty much remain as it is. I hate back pain. Anyway, so back to my math class, I was feeling very low and one of my classmates said something funny and my teacher just smiled so innocently, I was completely charmed. She is so beautiful to me even though my classmates don't consider her as such. I just think I'm beginning to catch feelings for her, she is like a mom you know so caring and sweet. Even though I hate math she honestly makes my days better just by letting me look into her eyes.
So yeah, I hate that I'm like this and it's probably very cringy to read this but this is how I feel. I can't tell anyone so here u go.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that after all, this is the one place where people can be open about how they truly feel, but anyway I'm sorry that you suffer. I understand just wanting to disappear, I've felt like that my whole life. Existing just leads to more problems and suffering.