Angry at the world, angry at people around me who tell me to keep hoping for things to get better, angry at my past choices, angry at my current choices, angry that I can't just leave all of this behind without someone trying to stop me or people getting hurt with me leaving.
Might definitely get shit on for this, but here goes:
Before you begin to hate everyone around you, ask yourself if the issue is not that they are stopping you out of ignorance of your suffering, but that you are stopping yourself because you, in actuality, are afraid to die, because of what it will do to the people whom you care for, or what it would make people think of you.
And if it turns out that you are afraid, then it's for the better, because then death isn't what you actually desire. Maybe you just want a quicker escape from your problems than time would usually allow. Maybe you heard someone say that this is better than just "waiting for things to get better." I regret to inform you, but life doesn't get better, you have to make it better; and normally, the only way to do that is to put away the noose you didn't tie correctly in the first place and face your issues head-on.
If fear of what people might think of you is what stops you from putting on that noose, then it is once again just as well, because if you still think highly of everyone's opinion of you, then you aren't suicidal, because when you're dead, you can't hear their slander. So, put away that knife, because even if you slit your wrists it's unlikely that it will even be fatal.
But lastly, if it is fear of how your death will affect the ones who you care for, and the ones whom care about you, I cannot give my input on that aspect of it, for the value of the emotions of those around you is listed on a pricetag that you placed on them long ago, a price that can rise and fall, sometimes being priceless, sometimes being worthless to you. If I were to tell you that their emotions were worth more or less than they actually are, then that would be very foolish of me.
Bottom line is, if you think you want to die, then maybe you do, just don't confuse a lack of desire to keep going for a misguided view of the consequences that ending your life entails.
