i just don't fit

[ommanipadmehum]

i would never say this about another person, and i'm not so self absorbed to think i'm special, but i truly think i just don't fit as a human

i don't understand other people. i don't understand the world. i'm very good at acting normal and people still pick up on it subconsciously, some ugly off-putting energy i've given out since the day i was born. people treat me like shit on the bottom of their shoe, just random people on the street, complete strangers. it's not just in my head, people i know have commented on it

i'm not autistic or anything. i had a fucked up and isolated childhood, but so did my siblings and they're all normal

i don't know

 

[-Link-]

I'm a misfit too.

It's very clear that I put out some kind of problematic energy that other people pick up on. You say you're treated like scum, but for me, it's a different experience... It's not that they treat me like scum, but it's something more along the lines of treating me as if I'm a child. Or maybe an adolescent. As if I never aged past 16 or something.

I'm not autistic either, although I score pretty close to the threshold on self-tests, and my doctor did offer to send me for actual testing, which I declined. He was the one who brought up the possibility, and his own opinion seemed to be in alignment with the self-tests I've taken.

I don't know either, and I wish I didn't feel this way.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally I see myself as not belonging as well, in my case I truly never should have suffered at all in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[lnlybnny]

I don't fit in either and this is one of the reasons I need to ctb. There's no place in this world for me. I always feel like the odd one out and I've been isolating myself for years now. I don't like being around other people, they bore me to death. I hate their gossips, preoccupations, deeds, the way they think, their dreams, etc. I'd rather disappear than fitting in.

I know what you mean by not being special, that's not the case, the case is just simply like trying to fit into a puzzle that you just can't. Sometimes I wish I could fit in so I didn't have to go through the trouble of feeling suicidal/planning ctb. I've been a neet all my 20s and as I'm approaching 30s I see no way to continue living like this. I know I'm a joke to the world but also the world is a joke to me. The thing is I'm tired. So you're definitely not alone.