Venting I just don't feel like i have a future

[musicalpriest]

Hey there.

Your feelings are valid. I just wanted to know if you knew about AmeriCorps? It's technically "volunteering", but it could lead to some development for you. I would recommend looking into AmeriCorps State/National where you can volunteer 20 hours a week. You also can make some extra money, and since AmeriCorps isn't taxable income; you can still keep your Medicaid and social security (I'm pretty sure).

Would you be interested in doing something like that? I would recommend you look into it, if it's available where you live.

 

[Niirvana]

The last counselor I was with diagnosed me with schizophrenia, though it was a long time ago and I can't vouch for their accuracy, it's probably some form of autism or schizoid disorder. I wish I had a proper diagnosis but my psychiatrist doesn't give a single damn about anything but prescribing antidepressants

So did you have hallucinations or did you hear voices?

 

[Mr2005]

I've been a NEET for 8 years now, doing nothing particularly productive besides always planning to die. I wasted days, then months, then years... Just time spend doing nothing, isolated alone in my room. The only saving grace being the SSI payments I recieve for my mental shortcomings which help pay for my own food and limited hobbies. But, now I'm 26, with a horribly neglected physical health and no usable career knowledge whatsoever. I feel like I wasted too much time and I can never fix it. Any amount of physical activity exhausts extremely quickly, and my mental disability makes it hard to learn and follow instructions safely. Am I just doomed to do nothing at all with my life? Every day is so torturingly monotonous. I can't learn new things easily, and I have a resistance to change that's difficulty to get through. I probably deserve this kind of guilt-ridden fate by pursuing such a hedonistic lifestyle in the first place. I am the worst possible disappoint to a parent.

I just dont know if it'll ever work out. I tried to work at a job twice before, but I was nowhere near physically capable for them and collapsed.

God I miss my friends, i haven't contacted them since my mental breakdown, but i just keep feeling that they don't deserve to see me in such a sorry pathetic state after all I did to worry them. I don't know what to do. If nothing changes, I might CTB in the coming weeks.
My heart's just been racing so hard today, with painful memories flashing back now and then to bring back the pain in my chest. I don't think I'll ever be with anyone ever again. I'll never be good enough, I'll never be adequate...

I get you. I've done the same thing only I'm 34 now. Can I ask have you had the internet all this time? I feel it would have made a world of difference but I could just be deluding myself. The good news is you will still find someone, I did.