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DiscussionI hope people find this account
Thread startersquillykilly
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Does anyone hope that people find their SS account before they CTB, I really wish someone would find this and just ask me if I'm okay and hug me for like... A few hours... And then they take me back to their home and take care of me for the night and maybe the next day.... Maybe i just long to be cradled and coddled...
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thefarter, IsolatedChaos, TwistedNightmares and 11 others
yeah, me too. i often wish someone would just come save me. like maybe there really is someone out there who will hold me and tell me its gonna be okay. the loneliness gets hard. i also crave wanting to hold someone too. i want someone to tell me theres a reason to be here and actually mean it and care about me.
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IsolatedChaos, Catscratch, squillykilly and 4 others
Honestly, I do. It's more so for spiteful reasons, so that the people that made me like this can see the state they've driven me into and realize there will be blood on their hands, but it brings me comfort to think about people once in my life being haunted by me and my death.
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kuroshimi, squillykilly, EmptyBottle and 2 others
I always just want to be held and told everything is going to be okay. I'm a very tactile person and being without physical contact is driving a lot of my suicidality. I want someone to know who can make a difference and comfort me.
Probably, this is the main reason why I want to talk about this place with some of my internet friends, I think they know about sasu in general, but they unaware about my presence here.
Regarding the question, actually, it depends on which person will discover it. But I think it will only happen with some of my internet friends, since they are kind of terminally online too.
Many people might consider one crazy if they see they are not just depressed but also wanna die and discuss it here. Just having an account will be enough.
I am transactional not just suicidal I like basic comfort not some fights for pennies or constant pain.
yeah, me too. i often wish someone would just come save me. like maybe there really is someone out there who will hold me and tell me its gonna be okay. the loneliness gets hard. i also crave wanting to hold someone too. i want someone to tell me theres a reason to be here and actually mean it and care about me.
That's called "Love", and i want that too. So bad, we are just strangers, on an online website, and maybe, our distance are the oceans... I want "Love" so bad. Someone to hug, tide hug...
Does anyone hope that people find their SS account before they CTB, I really wish someone would find this and just ask me if I'm okay and hug me for like... A few hours... And then they take me back to their home and take care of me for the night and maybe the next day.... Maybe i just long to be cradled and coddled...
Not really. I've kind of lost interest in talking to people who are just going to try to gaslight me into false comfort or are otherwise incapable of understanding where I'm coming from. Anyone can tell themselves empty platitudes like "things get better", "don't give up", "you have people who love and care about you", "your life has meaning". I've unfortunately been the person saying these things as a teen when talking with suicidal friends. Saying those things doesn't really require any deep thought or effort towards empathizing with a person. It's the equivalent of telling someone to "just be happy" and functions more as a way to get someone to shut up about their problems and stop inconveniencing others.
This kind of gaslighting under the guise of comforting and encouragement is honestly just emotionally taxing to have to sit through, so I don't really think I would want anyone who isn't open to truly understanding my viewpoint to see this side of myself.
There are some people in my life who know I'm on this forum.
They don't know my user or any posts I've made but I've been honest about it with some people to explain my situation, and I even told my therapist and psychiatrist about it at some point. I never named the forum to anyone though.
I never really got much reaction out of this, though. I think people just really don't know how to handle it when they hear it, and at the same time not very surprised about it either.
I do appreciate the people I have around me that are trying to support me, I just don't think it changed anything.
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