I hope I have the courage

[valya krematorij]

Hey
I am writing this text through a translator, so I apologize in advance for stupid mistakes.
Tonight I plan to commit suicide by partial hanging. I won't describe my actions in detail - I'm not sure of them. in fact, I want to live, but I don't know how. I don't consider myself an unhappy person. I have everything: good looks, awesome taste in music, some financial stability, intelligence (this intelligence is unfortunately not enough to learn English), laziness, disgusting relationships with family and loved ones. I can't say that I have any reason for my reluctance to live. My self-esteem is completely unstable. my body sometimes inspires me, sometimes disappoints me. For as long as I can remember, I have always considered myself fat and awkward. There were times when I stopped eating completely. I fainted from hunger and received constant reproaches from my mother that I was eating too much. For the last 6 years I have realized that my life will end very soon. and I will die by my own hands. I am too fixated on my appearance and do not pay attention to everything that happens around me. I passed my school exams with the highest marks, but after school I did not go on to study further. I had many opportunities to become someone significant in this world, but my obsession with appearance prevented me from doing so. Reading this, you might think that I am quite a beautiful girl with complexes. but my beauty is not clear to everyone. Not everyone will find me attractive. I always thought that I should die beautiful. and constantly worked towards my weight loss goal. but now I look at myself and realize that I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose weight to my desired weight, I couldn't grow my hair or find my perfect makeup. I've only been deteriorating for the last year. All my old friends turned their backs on me, except my boyfriend. my image became repulsive. and only in this image did I find my little happiness. but this is contrary to the normal way of life. I don't see my good future. I worry about my grandparents, how they will cope with my death. It hurts to see your grandson die before you. I may not succeed tonight, but I hope for the best. I just want to leave this world. I want my mind to find peace. I want to disappear. Only today I began to feel that my life is almost over.

 

[tdos52]

Hey
I am writing this text through a translator, so I apologize in advance for stupid mistakes.
Tonight I plan to commit suicide by partial hanging. I won't describe my actions in detail - I'm not sure of them. in fact, I want to live, but I don't know how. I don't consider myself an unhappy person. I have everything: good looks, awesome taste in music, some financial stability, intelligence (this intelligence is unfortunately not enough to learn English), laziness, disgusting relationships with family and loved ones. I can't say that I have any reason for my reluctance to live. My self-esteem is completely unstable. my body sometimes inspires me, sometimes disappoints me. For as long as I can remember, I have always considered myself fat and awkward. There were times when I stopped eating completely. I fainted from hunger and received constant reproaches from my mother that I was eating too much. For the last 6 years I have realized that my life will end very soon. and I will die by my own hands. I am too fixated on my appearance and do not pay attention to everything that happens around me. I passed my school exams with the highest marks, but after school I did not go on to study further. I had many opportunities to become someone significant in this world, but my obsession with appearance prevented me from doing so. Reading this, you might think that I am quite a beautiful girl with complexes. but my beauty is not clear to everyone. Not everyone will find me attractive. I always thought that I should die beautiful. and constantly worked towards my weight loss goal. but now I look at myself and realize that I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose weight to my desired weight, I couldn't grow my hair or find my perfect makeup. I've only been deteriorating for the last year. All my old friends turned their backs on me, except my boyfriend. my image became repulsive. and only in this image did I find my little happiness. but this is contrary to the normal way of life. I don't see my good future. I worry about my grandparents, how they will cope with my death. It hurts to see your grandson die before you. I may not succeed tonight, but I hope for the best. I just want to leave this world. I want my mind to find peace. I want to disappear. Only today I began to feel that my life is almost over.

if you do go through with it i hope it's as painless and easy as possible, others will be hurt by losing you but you have the right to give up, i can't stand my appearance and living a life in a body that you hate is torture, wishing you the best

 

[needthebus]

Hey
I am writing this text through a translator, so I apologize in advance for stupid mistakes.
Tonight I plan to commit suicide by partial hanging. I won't describe my actions in detail - I'm not sure of them. in fact, I want to live, but I don't know how. I don't consider myself an unhappy person. I have everything: good looks, awesome taste in music, some financial stability, intelligence (this intelligence is unfortunately not enough to learn English), laziness, disgusting relationships with family and loved ones. I can't say that I have any reason for my reluctance to live. My self-esteem is completely unstable. my body sometimes inspires me, sometimes disappoints me. For as long as I can remember, I have always considered myself fat and awkward. There were times when I stopped eating completely. I fainted from hunger and received constant reproaches from my mother that I was eating too much. For the last 6 years I have realized that my life will end very soon. and I will die by my own hands. I am too fixated on my appearance and do not pay attention to everything that happens around me. I passed my school exams with the highest marks, but after school I did not go on to study further. I had many opportunities to become someone significant in this world, but my obsession with appearance prevented me from doing so. Reading this, you might think that I am quite a beautiful girl with complexes. but my beauty is not clear to everyone. Not everyone will find me attractive. I always thought that I should die beautiful. and constantly worked towards my weight loss goal. but now I look at myself and realize that I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose weight to my desired weight, I couldn't grow my hair or find my perfect makeup. I've only been deteriorating for the last year. All my old friends turned their backs on me, except my boyfriend. my image became repulsive. and only in this image did I find my little happiness. but this is contrary to the normal way of life. I don't see my good future. I worry about my grandparents, how they will cope with my death. It hurts to see your grandson die before you. I may not succeed tonight, but I hope for the best. I just want to leave this world. I want my mind to find peace. I want to disappear. Only today I began to feel that my life is almost over.

sorry you are frustrated. you sound really smart

you said you haven't become someone of significance. is there anything you care about or believe in? why not get involved in something you care about? you would probably do well.

i support your ability to choose what you want, but i bet you could still do a lot if you wanted