rotten
Student
- Apr 14, 2021
- 158
The last time they did stuff to me I finally snapped. It happened on Christmas but it's still eating away at me. Little reminders in my everyday life cause me to think about what happened over and over.
I'm not the same anymore and this time I haven't settled back down and gotten comfortable. I finally want to do something that's going to get me away from all this. I've been thinking about ctb but I'm terrified of what could happen next. If I fail the consequences are going to kill me inside. And I'm also worried about becoming a vegetable.
I've also thought about running away. I know my environment is a huge reason why I am the way I am. If I leave I know there's a chance I can get better. The only problem with this is that I'm currently with a narcissist who watches my every move. Even if I successfully sneak out that's just going to be the beginning. I'm perfectly legal where I live but I know cops will be called. It's possible they will claim that I'm in danger because I have a history of hurting myself. Either that or a very smart family member will be called and he'll come looking for me. I have somewhere to go that they don't know about but it's still in the same city. So I would have to lay low for a while till it (hopefully) blows over.
Is it even worth all this trouble? What should I even do? I just need a way out.
Please don't say call the cops. That's not really an option for me.
I'm not the same anymore and this time I haven't settled back down and gotten comfortable. I finally want to do something that's going to get me away from all this. I've been thinking about ctb but I'm terrified of what could happen next. If I fail the consequences are going to kill me inside. And I'm also worried about becoming a vegetable.
I've also thought about running away. I know my environment is a huge reason why I am the way I am. If I leave I know there's a chance I can get better. The only problem with this is that I'm currently with a narcissist who watches my every move. Even if I successfully sneak out that's just going to be the beginning. I'm perfectly legal where I live but I know cops will be called. It's possible they will claim that I'm in danger because I have a history of hurting myself. Either that or a very smart family member will be called and he'll come looking for me. I have somewhere to go that they don't know about but it's still in the same city. So I would have to lay low for a while till it (hopefully) blows over.
Is it even worth all this trouble? What should I even do? I just need a way out.
Please don't say call the cops. That's not really an option for me.
