Venting I have to do it soon

[Aloken]

You know these times when your parents start commenting on your dysfunctional day to day life and asking questions about your future? Yeah, my mother just had one of these moments again. All of a sudden she asked me "so for how long are you going to keep getting up this late?". I have specifically asked her not to ask me these kind of questions because tough love or the attempt to "wake me up and start figuring s*** out" doesn't work for me and makes me feel worse. She proceeded by asking me "is this how you're going to be forever?". I thought "I'm going to be dead soon mom...there's no need to ask this".

She expects me to pass my uni exams too, like I care about uni... I'll be gone soon

The other day my brother asked me "how do you imagine yourself in 5 years,", trying to "wake me up". I thought "well, dead".

I have to do this soon. I know they do this because they love me and care about my future, but I want to be left alone until I do this.

 

[WornOutLife]

Questions about the future certainly suck.

"You' already XX, when will you get your degree? When will you have children? Do you even like girls/boys? When will you move and have your own house?' etc etc etc

I wanted to ctb because of those kind of questions some years ago but what I did was tell my parents to STFU and that I was gonna drop university if they kept messing around. I even told them that I was happy with being homeless.

Then, they panicked and gave me my space and TIME. I got my degree thanks to them not putting pressure on me.

You could try being kinda honest too. Just tell them that those kind of questions don't help you at all.

I hope you can find a solution and decide what's best soon.

Wish you love and peace,

Matt

 

[Aloken]

Questions about the future certainly suck.

"You' already XX, when will you get your degree? When will you have children? Do you even like girls/boys? When will you move and have your own house?' etc etc etc

I wanted to ctb because of those kind of questions some years ago but what I did was tell my parents to STFU and that I was gonna drop university if they kept messing around. I even told them that I was happy with being homeless.

Then, they panicked and gave me my space and TIME. I got my degree thanks to them not putting pressure on me.

You could try being kinda honest too. Just tell them that those kind of questions don't help you at all.

I hope you can find a solution and decide what's best soon.

Wish you love and peace,

Matt

Thanks for understanding!! I'm glad your parents cooled it. I have asked my mom not to ask me these stuff. I told her this doesn't help me. She takes an expression like she didn't do anything wrong, a "what's the big deal?" face. And then she stops for around 2 weeks. And then we're back.

As per my brother, I specifically told him that I cannot imagine what my life is going to be in 5 years, I can't let the future trouble me, I have to figure the present out first. He said that I'm becoming like an uncle of ours who is considered a failure and that he doesn't intend to adopt me when our dad stops working. I told him that he should ask someone how to talk to a person that feels like I do and that he can't say these things to me, because he doesn't help me at all. He told me that I act like I know everything and I don't know everything and I answered "I don't know everything, actually you act like you do. I only know how I feel and I just told you that". He got frustrated since "I didn't understand" and told me he will never talk about it again, in the bad way. I answered "good, because you don't help me" and left. During this convo I kept in mind that he would remember it after I ctb, so I tried to be as kind as possible.

They both think they know better than me. Anyway, sorry for the rant. I appreciate that you spent your time on me, you seem such a nice guy and I'm glad you decided to give life another chance. I hope good things come to you!

 

[eternaltroubador]

Man, this post hits home. I hate having to pretend i still have a future. it gets exhausting

 

[Aloken]

Man, this post hits home. I hate having to pretend i still have a future. it gets exhausting

Yes, exactly.. My family knows I'm suicidal too, so I have to be extra cautious. I wish they would leave me alone..

 

[Deleted member 23885]

Same here. Life is really hard, I empathize with u.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Sorry about that, friend. Non-suicidals, breeders, etc seem to not have any idea of what's going in. I don't think they realize that they are mortals, even. They live as if them saving enough money for when they die and snatch peaceful souls from the void and stick them in torture chambers will amount to "winning" or something. It's a fucking joke and I wish I had a shotgun.

 

[SkarletWitch]

I know right? Questions like that make you so uncomfortable! I already told mine family, I resigned from doing university, cuz I knew I'm not going to pass, so luckily I'm free from questions about it for now.