Help I have started preparations for SN ctb

[Meditation guide]

I wish it was true.
But i will not be free from them.
As without them, i dont want to be.

It sounds like a codependent relationship. And those aren't healthy for you.

 

[tiredone]

4 days.
I opened my heart to her for last time yesterday, to tell her how i feel, how sorry i am for my mistakes, and that i will always love her and kids. Explained that too late, but i understood what i did wrong and i can rebuild family better now. I did not tell her about plans.
If nothing changes her mind, my plans remain same for now.
I really hope for that miracle, as i did all i could, and i will still try for remaining time.
I dont want to go, and SI is fighting in any way it can, but i doubt it will succeed.

 

[tiredone]

3 days.
The plans have been changed for now and looks like i will not be able to have the 4 hour window i had in my plan.
Still want to go with it as it looks the situation will not change, but now might not have opportunity without risk of being found. And that cannot happen as it would just make things worse without fairly peaceful way to sleep forever.

 

[tiredone]

Well...it looks like im back on track.
Backpack packed and ready to leave the house the moment i get last impulse. Hope that i can go to any hotel without booking and just get a room on the spot. I knownit might cost more but they usually have empty rooms dont they?