I have a crush again

[LaVieEnRose]

Nah I think I'm just deluded by my feelings for her which still linger, so I don't take offense to what you said at all. At the very least, I'm going to college in person soon, and if this crush doesn't develop, I could very well meet someone there as well.

Thanks! I definitely am not putting pressure on myself. The fall semester of college starting today has put enough of that on me already.

Focus on your studies most of all. That's what the path towards your future is paved with.

 

[ToniFoxGirl!!]

Useful sources I've discovered:

• Orion Taraban
• Alexander Grace (highly insightful, though his explanations of underlying social/psychological mechanisms leans too much on evo-psych)
• HealthyGamerGG

The first two guys learned to hack women's minds, as former pickup artists. Then moved to more enduring relationships with higher-virtue gals

They lack the usual poor & meanspirited advice that lonely men usually get nowadays

I don't think listening to pick up artists is healthy. I think they tend to reenforce some pretty outdated and toxic ideas about women, and gender in general, and this is probably going to hurt people more in the long run than any good it'll do in the short.

 

[SexyIncél]

I don't think listening to pick up artists is healthy. I think they tend to reenforce some pretty outdated and toxic ideas about women, and gender in general, and this is probably going to hurt people more in the long run than any good it'll do in the short.

Yeah, they're former pickup artists, not current ones. Who grew into something different. Unlike most advisors, I think they're also competent & perceptive

They critique the pickup artist community. (Though they do think guys should practice "game".) Like explaining how pickup artists often become cynical — like salespeople cynical about customers. For pandering to gals who lack moral & intellectual virtues. (As Aristotle would put it. Intellectual virtues come by teaching others; moral ones by practicing moral acts)

IRL, I advise gals on relationships & jobs. I analyze tiny details & pull on threads, to identify yellow & red flags. As I build my mental model of their targets

Here on SaSu, for the first time, I advise guys. Unlike irl, I can't easily walk with them together through their problems, helping them win. So I try to offer them lit full of solid advice

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Focus on your studies most of all. That's what the path towards your future is paved with.

Thank you, I'm trying but stress is breaking me down currently. I'm pretty sure I can get a meeting with a mental health professional soon if needed which it honestly may be.

It's especially hard not to dwell on the past in my current state of mind and miss what I used to have I guess?

 

[ToniFoxGirl!!]

Thank you, I'm trying but stress is breaking me down currently. I'm pretty sure I can get a meeting with a mental health professional soon if needed which it honestly may be.

It's especially hard not to dwell on the past in my current state of mind and miss what I used to have I guess?

Im also struggling with focusing on the past a lot due to my ex, it's really really hard :( if you feel like you need help, you probably do

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Im also struggling with focusing on the past a lot due to my ex, it's really really hard :( if you feel like you need help, you probably do

Thank god I'm not alone. I'm sorry you went through that, and are currently going through that. I'm not happy you're going through that, but I guess it's comforting to not be alone in this situation.

Good thing is that I get regular calls from a place I went to see a psychiatrist. They call me about once a month to check in on me, and I might discuss telehealth therapy. The city is 30 minutes away so I don't want to always go in person every time, as I already drive 30 minutes one way to college, and 1 hour total commuting for every school day (two days per week)

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Thank you, I'm trying but stress is breaking me down currently. I'm pretty sure I can get a meeting with a mental health professional soon if needed which it honestly may be.

It's especially hard not to dwell on the past in my current state of mind and miss what I used to have I guess?

What did.you use to have?

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

What did.you use to have?

Before it got toxic, we had a very supportive relationship, and a caring one. I meant to say what "we" used to have, rather than what "I" used to have

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Before it got toxic, we had a very supportive relationship, and a caring one. I meant to say what "we" used to have, rather than what "I" used to have

It is understandable to feel nostalgic for those things especially when things are stressful now. It sounds like even if you got back with her you'll never have those qualities again with her. But it's definitely possible to find those things again with someone else.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It is understandable to feel nostalgic for those things especially when things are stressful now. It sounds like even if you got back with her you'll never have those qualities again with her. But it's definitely possible to find those things again with someone else.

I really do agree with you. I feel like I'm starting to come out of my shell little by little in college. Someone posted about rock climbing in my Snapchat college community, which I've never been hugely interested in but if they post about it again, I may add them and see if we can get a group together and rock climb. I need more friends to be honest, and that sounds like a fun activity to do on my downtime from classes, and work when I get a substitute teaching job later on.

Anyways, I'm droning on, but I agree, I don't see myself getting those traits from her, I'm having a hard time seeing her the same way after she cheated.

 

[Artictart]

I'm so happy for you dude, having a new crush is such an exciting and refreshing feeling. Good luck with you recovery, you got thiss

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm so happy for you dude, having a new crush is such an exciting and refreshing feeling. Good luck with you recovery, you got thiss

Thanks dude! I'm in a surprisingly amazing mood today and I wish you the best, and I hope you have a great weekend! <3