I hate this **** life Why won't it just end?

[searchingforpeace]

I had an amazing opportunity the other day of choking to death on a piece of food but like an idiot my survival instinct took over and I finally got water down. How am I supposed to off myself with SN with that kind of survival instinct? I'm screwed. I'm gonna have to let the rest of my pathetic light mentally ill and disabled. That's the worst part about death is that no matter how bad you want it when it finally starts happening you panic It's so **** stupid like everything else in this life I hate it I hate it I hate it just make it end

 

[FuneralCry]

I also hate existing and I understand finding it really torturous to exist, I wish there's the option to just choose to never suffer again, I hope you find the relief you search for.