Venting I hate the phrase "suffering builds character"

[KillingPain267]

Like what... Should we then not invent medicines, treatments, reduce war and violence, solve hunger etc. just because then the world will be full of people with strong characters? Suffering has DESTROYED my character. I used to be extremely careful to follow strict moral codes and strove to never lie, not even smallest lies, and never drink or try drugs ever or take drugs or be selfish and lazy. But now that my life is full of suffering, I just don't care much about being a good person. I mean, I don't wanna harm people, but I also don't have capacity anymore to be extra good to others. The suffering has destroyed that extra capacity and energy.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just find it really insensitive and invalidating when people insist that suffering is always something positive, to me all suffering is meaningless and unnecessary, the only purpose it serves is to torment existing beings.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm completely anti suffering and I believe that any suffering that I experience, even if it's the smallest amount of suffering, is bad and will always be bad. Screw the "suffering builds character" bullshit. I was brought into this world against my will so why would I even be expected to want to have character to begin with?

 

[Hunter2005]

People who say this are delusional. They just don't want to admit this life sucks.

 

[SilentSadness]

Suffering builds villains, it shows people how twisted and apathetic the world is and how no one cares about them, so they replicate it to others. I think it's just a last ditch effort to add value to a world lacking any value.

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

If they're so grateful that suffering exists they're free to take my suffering off of me. I don't want it. They can have it.

 

[HeavensOpenDoor]

I hate that!!! Because truly we have more statistical data that proves suffering causes trauma.

 

[sserafim]

I hate this too. The funny thing is how they believe that suffering is a badge of honor. They think that it's honorable to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. They're clearly delusional and coping. By the way, there's only so much suffering you can take before you snap (become dark triad)

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I hate this too. The funny thing is how they believe that suffering is a badge of honor. They think that it's honorable to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. They're clearly delusional and coping. By the way, there's only so much suffering you can take before you snap (become dark triad)

According to the psychologist in the psychiatry I was locked up in I have successful achieved Psychopathy. So according to pro-suffering people I should be proud of that? Lol.

Two of my exes claimed to be psychopaths (despite not being diagnosed) and were so proud of it. It was really cringe. Also really strange that it happened twice now that I think about it.

 

[UKscotty]

They are talking about a different context of suffering, they mean like losing someone, a job etc. Normal people have the resilience to handle that.

When you are mentally unwell like us it's something entirely different but I don't think normal people could ever possibly understand.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

In certain circumstances suffering can - but not always - help to build resilience toward whatever hardship that you have faced; for example there are certain fears that I used to have which I can now control better after experiencing said fears multiple times in a row; of course the exact opposite is true as well, because a harmful experience can cause severe mental damage and long-lasting trauma.

Unfortunately the phrase: "suffering builds character" is all too often used to justify the mistreatment (i.e.: bullying) of other people, and in this context it is an absolutely horrible attitude to hold, because people such as bullies are the same ones who create suffering in the world, so maybe if they did not mistreat others in the first place then we would not need to "toughen up"; when used like this the phrase is another way of saying: "you need to tolerate my awful behavior."