Oblivion Lover

Oblivion Lover

No life, no suffering
May 30, 2019
360
Sorry in advance for the messy rant. I can't get my thoughts straight and my head feel like it is going to explode.
So, this week was going fine and somewhat tolerable for me, but everything just changed a few minutes ago. My uncle, a christian religious fanatic, just came back home from the hospital after going to a vacation in prison and contracting some kind of disease that left him in a coma for a few days. Now he's even more annoying than before and the first thing he had done when he saw me was to annoy me with his christian bullshit and talk about what happens with people that don't worship his stupid god, and when I answered with sarcasm my grandmother teamed up with him to bother me until they went away to talk behind my back about how they were disappointed with me and how I was such a good christian kid (of course I was! Don't they know that kids will believe anything their parents tell them?) but I let the devil completely take over my mind. They also were talking that my mother said that if I became ill she would not pray for mercy by God so I would experience his wrath and become a christian again! This whole situation is so infuriating it makes me want to kill myself this night to spite them and not even leave a note. They don't deserve anything but to suffer for their stupidity and for never respecting me. They think that it's just a phase and I will come back crawling to their ridiculous religion. I'd rather die and go to hell than doing that! I never said that to them, but I HATE their religion and their god. If anything, suffering would make me only hate their god more and make me admire Satan more and more. I hate my family. All of them. They never respected me and are disappointed with me for not being a brainwashed fanatic like them. None of them deserve to be happy. I don't want to be around them for one more second. I'm so angry with what they said to me and talk while they don't think I'm hearing them that I was with a headache and wanting to throw up from so much stress. The only thing that helped me calm down was listening to highway to hell over and over, surprisingly. Still, I had to share this with someone or I'd explode from being unable to tell this to anyone. The worst thing about all of this, is that this was just the first day my religious fanatic uncle is around. Looks like I'm going to have to rush my ctb attempt or I'll end up mad! I can't be the only one who have to tolerate this from your own family, right?
 
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Partial-Elf

Partial-Elf

Eternal Oblivion
Dec 26, 2018
461
Sorry :( are you able to get your distance from them? Scale back or eliminate your contact with them?

I'm anti religious too, it at least contributed to most things that make me want to die if not being the outright cause.

I can relate in that my mom told me she "considered herself a failure as a mother" because I'm not Christian. What's weird is we went to church every Sunday but never talked about it or did any bible reading outside of that context.
 
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xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

xXSarac3nSlay3rXx

“Leaving this world is not as scary as it sounds.”
Mar 3, 2019
248
You definitely aren't the only one. I am the sole irreligious person in an entirely Christian family. I wouldn't go as far as to say that my family are total fanatics, but they are social conservatives (drugs are bad, gays are reprobates, etc). They tell me that they pray every day for me to come back to god. Religion comes up relatively often in my house, but if I ever challenge anything they say, they'll get their panties in a bunch. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut because I know I can't really change their perspective.

I honestly think all the pressure, restriction, and guilt I had growing up have something to do with the mental problems I have now. When I was a kid, I was constantly afraid of going to hell for being a normal human being because I thought I was "sinning." I honestly think teaching religious bullshit to kids really has potential to fuck them up mentally. I honestly think childhood indoctrination can be considered at least a mild form of child abuse. Assuming I ctb, I definitely won't be having kids, but I don't want kids even if I were to keep living. If, however, I did have kids I'd raise them to think for themselves. I'm an (agnostic) atheist, but I'm not going to indoctrinate them with my viewpoint, I'll just let them figure that shit out for themselves.

I feel liberated and much better off now than when I was a Christian (not that "baptised" 8 yo me knew any better). However, I feel this has all done lasting damage to my psyche. I don't know this, it's merely a hypothesis that I have no way of validating. Maybe it's just random genetic shit, but it could have been exacerbated by constant religious guilt and fear.

Even if you do choose to ctb, at least you won't die brainwashed. Kudos to you for breaking free from this shit.
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
Your uncle is probably trying to rationalize away some bullshit he knows he's guilty of. If he's focused on you and your sin, well then, he can forget about his own. I don't like finger pointing, but I was raised Protestant, and out of all the abuses I went through as a child, I was spared religious fanaticism. Sundays were just boring, church seemed like forever, but the kids classes were kind of fun. I'm surprised sometimes when people don't know the Bible just as a literary reference, but I certainly was never taught to use it as a means to judge others. I was so miserable in this life here and now I couldn't begin to comprehend eternity. And I never really felt right talking to God or Jesus.

In reference to your situation, I don't like religion being pushed onto me, and Christians in this country have cornered the market on that. I spent an entire business trip once with someone trying to convert me. I don't get it at all, why do I have to believe what you believe? Then again, I feel the same way about atheists,. In fact, I think the minute George Carlin started going overboard on how ridiculous the concept of God was, was right around when he stopped being funny. It's ridiculous, but if no one's telling me I have to believe it I'm fine with it.

Is there a way you can change your living situation? That just sounds so intolerable to me. It's already bad enough you're young and contemplating ctb, you don't need to be bullied by a zealot prick. Maybe look up some bible verses about not judging others and come back at him with that? Honestly, I would get out of there if you can. I had to do it with my family for different reasons. If you ever want to PM about it, you can always hit me up. I don't mind long rants either - whatever is in someone else's head is a huge break from what's going on in mine.
 
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Now_And_Then

Now_And_Then

If I am no good , then let me out
Jun 30, 2019
277
Your Uncle is really out of order there . Ask him to prove out right that God exists , he will come out with some crap that doesn't make sense

Watch this short clip of my favourite comedian's opinion on God and religion , this may make you feel a bit better . It is only just over a minute long ( warning , he swears )

 
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YongeDundas

Member
Nov 8, 2018
40
Christianity is the world's biggest hate group. It's socially acceptable bigotry. I'm a gay person raised in the cult of the zombie carpenter.
 
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Oblivion Lover

Oblivion Lover

No life, no suffering
May 30, 2019
360
@Partial-Elf
Heh, my mother would never think like that. My family has a habit of always blaming someone else for everything bad that happens, in this case the poor Satan, and are too prideful to admit they're wrong or failed at doing something. They also think that I'm unable to think on my own, needing to be influenced by evil forces to abandon religion, and they probably think that this is also the cause of my emotional distancing from them.
I understand what you're saying about religion being one of the reasons you want to ctb. That may sound intolerant, but I just don't want to live around these guys, and they're simply unavoidable. That is not the only reason, though. I wish I could get away from my family so I can be at peace when I ctb, but at the moment it's either this or living in the streets. There's no point in trying to change this situation anyway as I won't be around for too much time.

@xXSarac3nSlay3rXx
I feel you. Although it is a liberating and empowering feeling to abandon religion, christianity left some scars. Honestly if I still had the strenght to pursue my dream of becoming a politician I'd fight against this neglected evil of society called religious indoctrination. Thanks to that crap I have a phobia of the dark and I still sometimes feel guilty for my sexual orientation. All of it is irrational but was too engrained in my mind as a kid to get rid of it. There should be a specific form of therapy for people left traumatized by childhood indoctrination.
I tried for some time to make my family at least listen and consider the arguments of atheism, and tried to show everything wrong with the Bible to them, but I had given up. Every time I try to speak something important with them that feels like a threat to their beliefs, they first laugh and ridicule me as if I was some kind of clown, then try to change the subject or delay the conversation, and if I insist they get angry and ask me to shut up. It's really annoying, but it is good to know that I am so much of a threat to their religion that they actively try to silence me. Makes me feel important. Today after the events described on the first post of this thread I gave my grandmother a piece of my mind about how I felt about their lack of respect and how I'd never become a Christian again and she was sooo pissed off Lol.

@Ruffian
Unfortunately there's not so much that can be done about it. My uncle feels like he is the Messiah reincarnate now, and thinks he knows god and the bible more than anyone. He cherry picks all the convenient verses and ignores the rest. He's also such a hypocrite, and doesn't seem to know that Jesus hates hypocrites. Ironically enough, I, the family's satanist, know more about the bible than him, and that's exactly one of the reasons I no longer believe in it. Everything on it is just so absurd. Also, as I explained above, I don't plan on staying around for too much long. I just have to get my supplies and I write my note (which I've delaying for a while to be honest) to give them a final piece of my mind before I go, not because I care about them, but because I feel like I need to say everything I've wanted to say to them while I was alive to be able to leave in peace.
I agree with you when you said that christians love to push their beliefs on others, and atheists also do that a lot, which is why I'm an agnostic. I believe that it is fine until a certain point, and in my case my family has already surpassed that and it is becoming infuriating. Good intentions can't justify that.
I can't really remember the times I had prayed as a kid 'cause that was too rare. I think I never really believed in the christian god, and I also felt like going to church was a chore and tried avoiding it. The educational programs I've watched on tv and the science encyclopedia my father gave me (the only gift from him that I actually liked) appeared to make a lot more of sense and were more interesting. One of my favorite channels as a kid was literally called "school TV".
It's interesting of you to mention my uncle. Although he seems to be a person with lots of skeletons in his closet, I believe his main reason for being a religious fanatic is that he's schizophrenic, delusional and emotionally unstable since he was a teen. I remember there were times he'd speak with "God" out loud and say he could see him and feel him, and in almost daily basis he'd cry and shout in the shower begging for God to hear him. I also have my reasons to think he was starting to self harm last year by banging his head on the wall. Luckily he's never been violent with anyone from the family but he still feels dangerous to have around specially when his hallucinations are stronger.

@Now_And_Then
I loved it. Even though I'm not really a fan of swearing, I read somewhere that swearing conveys more emotion than any other words could do, and for comedy it seems to be appropriate (damn I'm such a nerd).

@YongeDundas
What a coincidence. I'm gay too, but I've only told my mother and people online so far. I feel like if my whole family became aware of it I'd be tied to a bed and they would attempt to exorcize me. Can't really expect anything else from people of this country. Christians here don't seem to be aware that the persecution of minorities by the church has ended a long time ago. I'd like to be here to see the tables turning one day.

Phew, that was excruciatingly long. Thanks for the replies, everyone.
 
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marcusuk63

marcusuk63

CTB
Mar 24, 2019
1,735
Religion is just one of many mental illnesses
 
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Ruffian

Ruffian

Jumpin Jack Flash, it’s a gas gas gas
Jan 16, 2019
696
I like reading long posts. I can be really ignorant(in the true definition of the word,) or sometimes too in my head to think of others point of view. I forgot there are still a lot of small minded churches that use the Bible to persecute gay people. I think my family only went to church to please my grandmother. When we moved away from her my parents dropped religion like a hot potato.

I think whatever you believe about your uncle is probably right. And you are reeally correct about not arguing with him. When you argue with a crazy person you have 2 crazy people arguing. I can't stand the intolerance so many Christians cling to. The first homosexual couple I met were in my home - my mom's friends from work. That was a long time ago, and we never discussed it.

Like I said, my family had some fucked up ideas and could be very hypocritical. I appreciate they didn't add religion into the mix. As an adult I think a lot of religions are interesting, but our country was founded by people who believed your fate could only be determined by God. These was no free will.
 
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Partial-Elf

Partial-Elf

Eternal Oblivion
Dec 26, 2018
461
@Partial-Elf
Heh, my mother would never think like that. My family has a habit of always blaming someone else for everything bad that happens, in this case the poor Satan, and are too prideful to admit they're wrong or failed at doing something. They also think that I'm unable to think on my own, needing to be influenced by evil forces to abandon religion, and they probably think that this is also the cause of my emotional distancing from them.
I understand what you're saying about religion being one of the reasons you want to ctb. That may sound intolerant, but I just don't want to live around these guys, and they're simply unavoidable. That is not the only reason, though. I wish I could get away from my family so I can be at peace when I ctb, but at the moment it's either this or living in the streets. There's no point in trying to change this situation anyway as I won't be around for too much time.

@xXSarac3nSlay3rXx
I feel you. Although it is a liberating and empowering feeling to abandon religion, christianity left some scars. Honestly if I still had the strenght to pursue my dream of becoming a politician I'd fight against this neglected evil of society called religious indoctrination. Thanks to that crap I have a phobia of the dark and I still sometimes feel guilty for my sexual orientation. All of it is irrational but was too engrained in my mind as a kid to get rid of it. There should be a specific form of therapy for people left traumatized by childhood indoctrination.
I tried for some time to make my family at least listen and consider the arguments of atheism, and tried to show everything wrong with the Bible to them, but I had given up. Every time I try to speak something important with them that feels like a threat to their beliefs, they first laugh and ridicule me as if I was some kind of clown, then try to change the subject or delay the conversation, and if I insist they get angry and ask me to shut up. It's really annoying, but it is good to know that I am so much of a threat to their religion that they actively try to silence me. Makes me feel important. Today after the events described on the first post of this thread I gave my grandmother a piece of my mind about how I felt about their lack of respect and how I'd never become a Christian again and she was sooo pissed off Lol.

@Ruffian
Unfortunately there's not so much that can be done about it. My uncle feels like he is the Messiah reincarnate now, and thinks he knows god and the bible more than anyone. He cherry picks all the convenient verses and ignores the rest. He's also such a hypocrite, and doesn't seem to know that Jesus hates hypocrites. Ironically enough, I, the family's satanist, know more about the bible than him, and that's exactly one of the reasons I no longer believe in it. Everything on it is just so absurd. Also, as I explained above, I don't plan on staying around for too much long. I just have to get my supplies and I write my note (which I've delaying for a while to be honest) to give them a final piece of my mind before I go, not because I care about them, but because I feel like I need to say everything I've wanted to say to them while I was alive to be able to leave in peace.
I agree with you when you said that christians love to push their beliefs on others, and atheists also do that a lot, which is why I'm an agnostic. I believe that it is fine until a certain point, and in my case my family has already surpassed that and it is becoming infuriating. Good intentions can't justify that.
I can't really remember the times I had prayed as a kid 'cause that was too rare. I think I never really believed in the christian god, and I also felt like going to church was a chore and tried avoiding it. The educational programs I've watched on tv and the science encyclopedia my father gave me (the only gift from him that I actually liked) appeared to make a lot more of sense and were more interesting. One of my favorite channels as a kid was literally called "school TV".
It's interesting of you to mention my uncle. Although he seems to be a person with lots of skeletons in his closet, I believe his main reason for being a religious fanatic is that he's schizophrenic, delusional and emotionally unstable since he was a teen. I remember there were times he'd speak with "God" out loud and say he could see him and feel him, and in almost daily basis he'd cry and shout in the shower begging for God to hear him. I also have my reasons to think he was starting to self harm last year by banging his head on the wall. Luckily he's never been violent with anyone from the family but he still feels dangerous to have around specially when his hallucinations are stronger.

@Now_And_Then
I loved it. Even though I'm not really a fan of swearing, I read somewhere that swearing conveys more emotion than any other words could do, and for comedy it seems to be appropriate (damn I'm such a nerd).

@YongeDundas
What a coincidence. I'm gay too, but I've only told my mother and people online so far. I feel like if my whole family became aware of it I'd be tied to a bed and they would attempt to exorcize me. Can't really expect anything else from people of this country. Christians here don't seem to be aware that the persecution of minorities by the church has ended a long time ago. I'd like to be here to see the tables turning one day.

Phew, that was excruciatingly long. Thanks for the replies, everyone.
Don't feel pressured to respond to this one but I wanted to post a little more about the things religion either causes or makes worse in my estimation. The thing is people become so easily manipulated into taking a certain position when it gets wrapped up in their faith... also that they are always wanting to ram their faith and beliefs down others' throats. Here are some of the issues made worse by religion in no particular order:
  • Forced birth (being pro life instead of pro choice)
  • Pro circumcision (I think this is genital mutilation)
  • Pro suffering at end of life (people should be able to choose to die peacefully and not be obligated to live up to the very last moment... or at all really)
  • Hatred toward non cis-het people and misogyny
  • Xenophobia and racism
  • Not allowing people to use drugs... it's their body
  • In my state the conservative lawmakers are doing a big anti porn thing... wtf?
  • Blaming people who have mental health issues or addiction problems for said problems and thinking that they'd be healed if they "got right with god" ... I see that one a lot
 
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Oblivion Lover

Oblivion Lover

No life, no suffering
May 30, 2019
360
Religion is just one of many mental illnesses
Agreed. Not only it is a treatment resistant mental disorder, but one of the most dangerous ones. It severely reduces the quality of life of those affected, caused the deaths of millions not affected by it and delayed society's progress in general.
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
Religion, in all its guises, its just a load of bollocks dreamt up to control others. It is very sad that so many have been duped by a story with no basis of fact attached to it/them.
 
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